The Shape-Making of an Autonomous Woman

05.10.2009           Dragonfly Story
I walked into my studio and saw a beautiful Green Darner dragonfly
Hopelessly beating itself against a pane of glass in the french door .
I walked over and opened the door, hoping it would fly out.
But the dragonfly continued to throw itself against the glass.
I held out my hand and it sat on my palm
But as I moved toward the open door
The dragonfly would fly back to the glass window.
After several attempts, I realized I had to cup my hands
Carefully around the delicate body with iridescent wings
In order to move it outdoors.
Once outside, I opened my hands.
The Dragonfly flew off to its freedom.
I stood there and in that moment understood.
I was being held in love and moved safely by Grace.

07.28.2009          Tempest of Change
A deep sigh, a breath, in and out.
Breathe in the day.
Streams of sunlight dance across the room and onto me.
Energy beams.
I am a channel of love, light and creativity.
Breathe. And feel the currents moving through out.
Breathe. And know the Source this source of healing and creation.
Breathe. And be in the unfolding of my personal legacy.
Breathe. And look with eyes of imagination and magic.
Breathe. And hear with ears of wonderment and joy.
Breathe. And receive the love, beauty and good.
Breathe. And give my heart and mind to the Divine.
Breathe. And acknowledge the Grace in my life.
Grace holds me. Follow the elemental signs.
Who am I NOW as an artist?
Record the whispers.
No matter how gentle or soft or loud they speak
Dear Pamela Rose, I am listening and paying attention.

07.29.2009           The Storm Has Passed
For today, quiet, peace.
Sun peeking through the window from the east.
Where the Sangre de Cristo mountains protect the city of Santa Fe.
Gods. Goddesses. Angels. Saints. Spirit Awakening.
Shibah Inus curled up and sleeping.
My body relaxing after a flood of tears.
Help is here.
Yes help is here and all around you.
Trust and live in faith.
And prayerful…prayer-filled actions.
Walked along the river today.
I hear the music.
Blessings move outward.
Spirit moves me across the miles.
Heavenly connection.
My own music, my own rhythm, my heart beating.
Collaged last night before going to sleep.
Completed the “end images” on several pieces…satisfying.
Today I’ll begin to look for a studio space.
A place of my own.
Everywhere I am led, I gather information.
And know I am being carried by Grace.
Saw three large ravens in the tree out back: magic.
Sense the magic within and see the magic around me!

07.30.2009           The Twine of My Life
This is the twine of my life… strong, resilient, flexible.
Seeds of change… future life, present flow, Presence.
This is the twine of my life… creative, imaginative, magic.
Roots of timelessness… drawing up unlimited Source.
This is the twine of my life… abundant, generous, bold.
Sinews of Spirit… guiding, protecting and moving me.
This is the twine of my life… and I am grateful to see it.
Sun just streamed in thru window onto page, onto me, onto Shiba Inus, and onto the day.
Light… I am a channel of love, light and creativity.
Thank You for all You have given me and all you have taken away and all that is to come.
Breathe into the middle of my body, my belly, my heart, into the middle of this change.
Breathe and know I am being carried by Grace.
Imagine… a world of love, peace, joy, harmony.
Imagine… a space of light, high ceilings, safe.
Imagine… the wonderful table in this perfect space.
Imagine…  White wall boards to hang many wonderful creations.
Visions… Visioning… Art.
It will speak to me and I will know.
Home is my body.

07.31.2009            Being Moved Into the Future
Trust.
Grace is carrying me.
Trust Divine Order.
Be open.
Open Heart.
Clear Mind.
Direction will come.
Breathe and take excellent care of myself.
Breathe and enjoy the occasional pizza with friends.
Breathe and burst with lots of laughter.
Breathe and eat well today, exercise get a facial.
Breathe and collage, draw, write, look, listen, intuit, record.
Tidal Wave of Consumerism is an idea for a project.
Write ideas and sit with them.
Angels are helping.
Trust this.
What is meant to manifest will in divine time, in a divine way.
Take small actions based on inner direction.
See the clear evidence of Spirit’s hand.

08.02.2009            The Tidal Pool
Rest in the tidal pool.
Go with the currents.
Let the waves wash you gently.
Surrender.
Feel the currents pull.
Drift with them.
Rest in the tidal pool.
Go with it.
Deep streams of consciousness.
Deeper unconscious rivers connecting all.
Rest in the tidal pool.
Let it be the movement.
Breathe underwater with my mystical gills.
Dive deeper to the treasures hidden there.
Rest in the tidal pool.
Where the sunlight reflects that
All is one.
All is here.

08.03.2009           From the Night of Sleep
From the night of sleep rises the Spirit.
Rested. Inspired. Rejuvenated. Inviting.
The day greets waves of energy
With cool dawn and harmonious melodies.
Sunlight steams across the page.
Pen and hand are reflected and shadowed.
Lungs expand and contract with ease.
From the night of sleep rises the Spirit.
I am reading Barry Lopez, Winter Count
A collection of short stories.
He’s a brilliant writer; inspired.
With breathtaking skill and a few deft strokes,
he produces painfully beautiful scenes.
Combining the real with the wondrous,
he offers us a pure vision of people alive to
the immediacy and spiritual truth of nature.”
Get a roll of large white paper and glue sticks today.
Gather ideas.
See the evidence of Spirit in my life.
Small steps… a few deft strokes.
Create.
My Soul’s desire…my personal legacy.
Create and live.

08.05.2009          Full Moon Eclipse
Winds of change stir the night
Moving clouds across a full moon eclipse
Peering through window panes
A space welcomes me within
Come here and see what lies ahead
In your future under the moon light
Eclipsing your life into the next phase
Phases of the moon
The seasons
The course moves
Move with it

08.06.2009           Planting the Seeds
Planting the seeds of a new life
Watering them with tears
30 fold, 60 fold, 100 fold
Spirit, please clearly guide me
I must remember
Stay out of my own way
Help me to be all that is intended
I am surrendering
Help me to plant seeds

08.07.2009           It’s An Eclair Night
Amazing sunset.
The kind of sunset that make visitors to Santa Fe want to move here.
Awesome.
Light was brighter and softer after sharing
Strength, hope and experience at the Life Healing Center.
Gratitude.
As I drove towards home, the voice within spoke very clearly,
“It’s an éclair night”
Swung car into Harry’s Roadhouse and got good parking spot,
“Thank you Angels”.
Walked right in the door and into a hug from Harry.
“I need an eclair”.
Harry led me up to the counter and sat me down.
He put the longed-for custard filled pastry
With chocolate frosting right in front of me.
“Enjoy and it’s on the house”.
Another “first” alone.
Sitting alone at the counter at Harry’s.
The sun gently set as the tears flowed.

08.08.2009           The Scale
After dinner, we walked the quiet residential streets.
There on the sidewalk, nothing else around, was a scale.
So I got on it.
The scale was working and correct.
We walked on.
I wondered what is a scale doing out on the sidewalk?
The air was fresh, temperate, like Hawaii.
Sunlight shimmered on leafy trees and bled into adobe.
Warmth moved out of the walls.
A young girl dressed in a pink tutu with jeans came out of a gated home.
She walked across the street to the green lawn of a park and did a cart wheel.
Satisfied with her achievement, she went back to the house
Disappearing behind the gate from whence she came.
I am being held in the balance of the near past and current future.
In the moment on the scale.

08.17.2009    I Just Want to Experience God
Said at a Women’s Meeting.
By a woman letting go of buying her dream house
And is opening up
To God and the real dream house.
Remember this
God is always in the house.
Heard it today.
Ears up!

08.20.2009    Studio 755
Crickets
That’s a good thing.
Wind rustling leaves
That’s a good thing.
Shadows of tree swaying
That’s a good thing.
Everything in its place.
Sleeper sofa covered in sheets.
Pillow covered in silk case.
Doggie blanket for comfort.
First night.
Breathe deep.
And know
I am safe.
I am protected.
I am in Spirit’s Grace.
Railrunner going by
That’s a good thing.
It’s 9:30pm.
Occasional car sounds.
Curtains rustle against the open windows.
Dragonfly candle flickering.
Freedom
There is a new freedom.
Beeping, chirping, rustling
Humming, revving, stirring
Divine design.
Plan unfolding.
Look where I am.
Amazing isn’t it.

08.16.2009     The End of a Long Month
Crickets singing at the end of day.
The night sounds of Studio 75 becoming familiar.
Fridge booting up and electricity buzzing.
I’ve been hearing electrical currents all my life.
Wave frequencies.
It’s what we are made of
Along with Spirit
The connective alloy.
A collage of color strips sit on the table.
I am happy it is there.
Evidence.
A book of collages sits nearby.
The fire of transformation is burning inside of me.
Step into the fire.
Let it burn.
Feel the passion within me.
Electric.
The body electric.

09.01.2009     A Very Deep Tear Drop
Tiredness and sadness overcome me
After a long day of people, places and things.
Realization a divorce is pending, a house selling, a life ending.
The depth of sadness is close to me.
I draw my faith into the night.
Joy is the vessel for all emotions.
Somewhere at the bottom of this barrel is the hope, the knowing
This too shall pass.
The loving hand of Spirit reaches out over people
Conditions, controlling this situation, and protecting each one.
Spirit I know you are with me even as I cry
These tears
Let you know
I need you.

09.02.2009          Evidence
Mystery there is no end without a beginning.
On the back of the Dragonfly sticker Mary gave to me.
Dragonfly Express.
The sticker is double-sided.
Open my heart.
Nothing feels quite right.
Too much in head.
Move into my heart
Not my adrenaline.
Heart is softer.
Trust the quiet and the stillness.
Slow down and relax.
Breathe and be.
Critical-care patients rest.
Rest and go deeper.
Believe this and go inside.
This is the action step.
Fly inward.
There is joy within.
There is peace within.
Quiet the mind.
Trust this “waiting time”.
Boldness has many appearances.
Your creative self is saying,
“Come here and be with me. I am great company.”

09.07.2009          Mercury Retrograde
Go inward to the depth of mercurial energy.
Breathe deep and go with what says,
“This feels good”.
And if it doesn’t feel good
“Don’t do it”.
Please release me from what is not mine.
Help me to know what is my heart’s desire.
Make right relationships heal.
If not him then someone better.
Wisdom to know the difference.
Grace releases me from thinking.
Lets me be in my heart.
Be in my body.
Be with my Spirit.
Labor day.
This is a labor of love.

09.08.2009          There Can Be No Beginning Without An Ending
Coming from the source of what works for me
Makes my life rich in the world.
Trust in spirit connection.
Blessed
Carried by Grace
Evidenced in synchronicity
A new battery
Fresh look at life
Thank You Spirit for
Enthusiasm
Rivers of tears
Sleepy eyes
Strong body
Clear mind
Open heart.
“The unexpected happens…
My seemingly impossible good
Now comes to pass”.

09.09.2009          Very Cool Numbers
The orderly magazine images peer back at me from across the room.
Sanctuary.
Greens and deep blues, twilight and darkness.
Coming out of the shadows.
Coming out of hiding.
Coming alive.
Did I live in the world of the wondrous today?
Verizon online, called Blue Cross Blue Shield
The water company, dropped off magazines
Picked up x-ray images, a bunch of phone calls
Banking, writing checks, exercise
A bowl of soup at Caroline’s, smiled at the sunflowers.
Welled up in tears when I told Georgia,
“I am separated from my husband”.
I do not have a husband anymore.
Please help me to sleep in the world of the wondrous
Tonight.

09.10.2009          Zozobra
Burn up Gloomies!
Burn, Burn, Burn.
Right now, across town, Zozobra is burning.
I lit Dragonfly Candle burning brightly.
I let go of my worries, my concerns, anxiety.
Away with what is not…not me, not mine.
Burn divorce aches and pains
Burn financial fears and woes
Burn creative blocks and resistance
Burn self-centered fears
Burn doubts and second-guessing
Burn old, worn-out, behaviors
Burn new pathways into my brain
Burn bright. Burn Bright.
I welcome what is mine.
Nothing can hinder, nothing can delay
The manifestation of the Divine Plan of my life.
The Light Of Lights streams on my pathway
Revealing the Open Road of Fulfillment.

09.11.2009         Have Mercy
Have mercy on us for we know not what we do.
Bless the souls who have passed.
May they be Angels watching over us.
I have seen the white light.
I have been in the corridor of time.
Truly I am here for a purpose.
My desires move me forward into the future.
Grace is gently carrying me.
Tonight.
Have mercy on us for we know not what we do.

9.12.2009          Adoption Means Love
The river of life runs through me.
The current is deep.
The wake far reaching.
I am in the waiting room.
In soft cotton.
In wonder.
In grief.
In gratitude.
Tidal pools of emotion lapping at my heart.
Touching the lives of others.
Divinely planned by the master had.
My broken heart lays open to you.
Somewhere a woman with my spirit love
Moves in this world in grace.
May she be blessed with riches of
Love
Joy
Purpose
And a good life.

09.13 & 14.2009          Untangling and Braces
My tongue runs over the surface of my teeth.
Tomorrow all will be covered in metal.Braces.
Untangling the years of twists.
Ordering.
Bringing right relationship from root to tooth.
The Happiness Gene.
A smile.
From the inside out.
They’re on!
And I know I have teeth.
Giving my self health and love.
Receiving lots of support.
Spirit doing for me that what I could not do.
A lot of sirens reminding me
Conscious self-care.

09.15.2009         Twenty-four Hours
And my mouth is wondering about all this metal.
What’s this?
Lips get stuck when laughing.
Eating is completely different.
Thank you protein drinks and yogurt.
And squash soup for dinner.
I’ll eat eggs poached tomorrow.
Made collages with leftover strips.
Stripes of color and images.
Movement influenced by tall trunks
Of tall pines and aspens running vertical.
Aspen Vista Trail.
Amazing sky.
Blue.
Just a hint of gold beginning.
The turning of the seasons about to happen.
Next autumn my teeth will be straight.

09.16.2009           Seeking Comfort
I am feeling sorry for myself.
There.
I said it.
Please don’t let the universe fall down on me
Or run away.
I am having a few moments of divorce blues.
Braces meltdown.
What have I gotten myself into to?
Mouth is a little sore.
Teeth ache, too.
Eating is awful.
Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself.
God I hope it is a quiet night.
No lightening.
And I pray for comfort.
I chose to have braces now.
Yes now.
With sleepy eyes
I must lay down.
Sweet dreams.
Trust and KISS
Keep it simple sweetie!
Kick ass!

09.20.2009           Shifting Seasons
Dogs are howling in the night.
Tiredness is barking at my heels.
Breathe.
Know sleep will be comfort.
Turning the thin leaves of my thoughts
Into dreams.
Good night Summer.
Summer
Of long nights
Of grieving tears
Of heart openings
Good night to one married life.
A decade of companionship
That hailed the cab of resentment.
Did we know where this would take us?
Good night summer.
I pray this seasonal change wakes me gently
And ripples through the world
With Grace.

10.01.2009           The Wind Blew Me Gently Into Bed
How powerless I feel after the wind
Blew me into bed
Sinus passages swelled
Head ached
Such pain
Please help me
Some relief
Tiredness follows with tears
This too shall pass
This grief
Warm milk with honey
Two children’s benedryl
Dark has set
October has come
Married and divorced
The wind blew me into bed
Intensive self-care

10.02.2009          Happy Birthday Bright Star
The soul sings a song
LEAN INTO LOVE
Into cyberspace energy
LEAN INTO LOVE
Currency of Voices Beyond Measure
LEAN INTO LOVE
Lifting a spirit with a wish
LEAN INTO LOVE
Discover your divine potential and pleasure
LEAN INTO LOVE
The full moon is rising
LEAN INTO LOVE
It is your shining gift of light
LEAN INTO LOVE
LEAN INTO LOVE
LEAN INTO LOVE

10.03.2009          Is This A Vision Or A Waking Dream
Saw a film tonight
Bright Star
Is this a vision or a waking dream?
Traffic is whining in the dark
Thinking is blaring in my brain
Sleep will be a comfort
Turning the leaves of my thoughts
Into dreams
Good night summer
Season of long days and dark nights
Grieving tears of my heart opening
Turning the leaves of my thoughts
Into dreams
Good night summer
I bequest this seasonal change
Wake me gently
What world is this I am living in
A vision or a waking dream?

10.04.2009           The Full Moon Stared At Me
The moon rose full tonight
Pulling mercury out of retrograde
Alighting energy waves across miles
Moving obstacles effortlessly
I read John Keat’s
Love Letters
To Fanny Brawn
Inspired
My eyes may be tired from the day
The tears I have wept
Yet they still see love burning
Spirit
You are stronger
Than the night

10.05.2009           O, Am I Fool?
I’ll light the Dragonfly Candle
I’ll get down on my knees
I’ll admit I am powerless
I’ll pray and let go
I’ll cut pictures for my soul
I’ll paste inspiration on them
I’ll paint energy waves
I’ll pray and let God
I’ll read meditations and poems
I’ll write words of hope I’ll listen and look
I’ll pray and let God be God
In my life
In all lives

10.08.2009          Thou Art Forgiven
We were once together in another time
When thee and thou were common language
Now my dear troubadour
Email, text and twitter
Are the language currency
Short
Clipped
Truncated
Leaving much to be desired
There is nothing to do
But be inspired
And let fate move me
Between worlds

10.10.2009           Alchemy
An animal skull of antlers and bone
Embedded with a mandala of rose gems
In its third eye
Is held over my face to the world
A thumbprint creates a labyrinth
Staircase ascends into fields of gold
You step into the light
I am waiting
Wanting to know
What are reading?

10.11.2009           One Voice
Intuition
One Voice
Voices Beyond Measure
Sleepiness is pulling at me
Eyelids heavy
The great blues
Of the inner eye
Takes me to you
Thank you for this day
And the dreams ahead of me
Good night
Sweet dreams

10.13.2009           Brushing My Hair
You can’t keep the birds of sadness
from flying over your head,
but you can keep them
from nesting in you hair.”
Keep brushing
Divorce is final today
Keep brushing my hair
There is a promise of luster in each stroke

10.15.2009          These Boots Were Made For Walking
Tall fine black leather
Expensive
Classic
Ready to be worn
For many years
New boots
To carry me into my future
Started to breathe
The Serenity Prayer
My head went down
In grief
Held in my open hands
Tears flowed as the woman prayed
One more day
Held in grace
One more hour
The pain lifts
Not without widening
The trench
Where joy
Will flow
These boots were made for walking

10.16.2009          O God Won’t You Buy Me A Mercedes Benz
Song titles
Are beginning
To rule
My life
Divine direction
It can be
No decisions
For two weeks
Sound advice
No buying
The Benz
Today post
Seventy-two hours
Divorce

10.23.2009          Now And Forever Live Your Life
At day break
I made a 3-piece collage
On my bedside table
By 3:30 pm
The ring that appeared
In the collage
Had manifested
On my hand
Sterling silver
Thread Ring
Size 5 and 3/4
From Gusterman’s
Slipped into the space
Left empty
Of a the wedding ring
Worn for ten years
Threads to remind me
Now and forever
Live your love

10.30.2009          Praises To You Sir
Breadth and depth
Creating a stirring in the soul
Listened to the record
While the temperature dropped 25 degrees
The ghouls came out in wool sweaters
Happy Halloween
BOO!
This is my reality
Ghouls in sweaters
Bright stars across the miles
Warming my heart
This is my reality
Tuna melt dinner
As I laughed with joy
Remembering
I am one
With you
And all

10.08.2009           This Is Done
He said
I am devastated
In deep pain
Angels help us
God hold us
The clock is ticking
I need sleep
Rest my body and mind
Renew my spirit
Tears run dry
There is life
On the other side
Sleep now
Angels help me
God hold me

12.27.2009          Coming Home
Rest child after a long day
Rest child after a long travel
Breathe and let the body surrender
Breathe and let this bed hold the weight
Breathe
Rest child your safe after this journey
Rest child you can sleep all night
Breathe and let the thinking ease
Breathe and let this be
Breathe
Rest now

12.28.2009          Mindful Moments
Emotional touchstones
Creating a code for recall
Giving language to these
Evocative states
Becoming a living pathway
This is a map
Portrait of my inner life
Allows for creative recollection
Mindful in the moment
To create a new experience
Pause
To take the time
To receive
More information
To get
A whole meaning

01.04.2010          Warm Milk And Honey
Warm air blowing through the vents
Warm milk and honey running through my veins
Clean sheets envelope my tired body
Clean feeling as I slide into sleep
Good night to this day
Good night and sweet dreams
Warm milk and honey

01.07.2010          Winter Is Tiring
Cold zaps my energy
I am yawning a lot
Dark nights
Sixteen degrees
Hat. Gloves. Scarf. Boots.
Layers of clothing
Shades drawn to keep the cold out
Warmth in
Humidifier on
Heat blowing
Heart beating
Beating

01.08.2010          Communion
“There are no stories.
Communion…to have the same frequency,
The same vibration…as love.”
My Higher Power today is
Lean Into Love
No matter what happens
No matter what the appearances
Let love shower me
And others
And let myself
Lean Into Love
Communion…to have the same frequency,
The same vibration…as love.

01.18.2010          A Compassionate Heart
World-view of myself is changing
Recalibrating from the inside-out
Moving from a stance of leadership
Into the expanse of a compassionate heart
Difference in focus
What animates me now?
Changing from creating outcomes
To the integration process within
What gratifies me in a primitive way?
I dare to ask
Non-verbal
And I hear
Seamlessness is the currency of energy
Expansiveness is presence
Joyfulness is mindful
Lightness is vitality
Intuition is my trusted guide

01.24.2010           Comfort In My Own Skin
Settling into my own skin
Deep breath
Feels good
Grace surrounds me tonight
Deep breath
Feels safe
Comfort in my own skin

01.26.2010          Setting A Place At The Table For Myself
I set the place at the table for one
One moment smiling
Tucking the secret message
“You will fall in love”
Under the napkin
Next moment
Tears welling up from the
Trench of grief
I see my beautiful home
Float by on the river
And with it the broken dreams
Deep sadness pulls at the
Corners of my eyes
I go to a movie
To sit in the dark
In the bright afternoon sun
Then come back to a house
I am now living in
And I set the place at the table
For one.

01.28.2010          In A Dream
You said to me
“You are not suppose to be here”
I looked deeply into your eyes
Open
Eyes open
Still
You saw me
And you put your hands together
And bowed
It snowed
All day
Winter’s night

01.30.2010        Full Moon And That Moment
Saw the full moon setting
In a pre-dawn sky
Creating four quadrants of light
Saw the full moon rising
Coming up from behind the mountains
On a cold winter night
Do you know
That moment
When you look into
Someone’s eyes
And the whole world
Goes quiet

03.29.2010          Another Full Moon Roll Me Over
Felt good vibrations
At the mention
Of a name
At an unsuspecting
Place and time
Full moon
Roll me over
Welcoming spring
With DH Lawrence
Making the world go quiet
“I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration
Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze
Of growing, these sparks that puff in gyration,
Faces of people streaming across my gaze.”
Put your words over my heart today
Soul comfort
It’s an inside job

54     THE SHAPE-MAKING OF AN AUTONOMOUS WOMAN

04.08.2010          The Shape-Making Of An Autonomous Woman
The shape-making of an autonomous woman
Crafting
Spiritually creating
Less is more
Slower is faster
Keeping my bearings
Maintaining my shape-forming
Spiritually in an awakening
Physically moving
Learning to care for self
Emotionally transformative
Integrating who I am
From completely new pieces

04.12.2010          Yellow Light White Light 
Green light has been shining bright
Then an accident
The airbag came out around me
A buffer A protection
Pause Yellow light
Pause to take the time
To receive More information
To access A whole meaning
A card was sent today
White light
A dandelion surrounded in green
“If I could make a wish
I wish you were here”
Be in the light
Go everywhere with grace
Message clear
Can I trust
No matter what happens
Resting at the yellow light
I am in heaven

04.15.2010          Who Will Kiss Me
Wonder as I get ready for bed
Who will be the first to kiss me
Sweet troubadour
Distant soul star
Or Someone yet to meet
Angels surround me
Smiling they know
All three
I saw a dusty car window today
That displayed a great
Message in the grime
“I wish my wife were this dirty”
Remember this
Dirty Is Good
Learn life lessons everywhere

04.16.2010          Can I Relax And Take It Easy
Deep breathing
On the wake of a wave
Flurry of emails and phone calls
An envelope in the mail today
Contained three photos
The Navigator bike
Cushy seat
With an invitation
Wanna go to Block Isle
Scampi the Legendary Sch. Family Cat
Green plush summer lawn
You standing in pond
Twenty one
Wet skivvies
White tee
My drop in the water
I was looking for yesterday
And you are here
Now

04.17.2010          Where R U
Switching lanes
Must stay in my body
Banged front tooth
Ouch
Bent brace wire
Tooth moved
Braces are a metaphor
And really on right now
Straightening of my life
Don’t push the river
Don’t go over the speed limit
Pay attention to this
Go inside
Breathe
And be
Don’t miss out on this time
We will never be here again
Together

04.19.2010          Muscle Spasm Love
Took me out of meditation meeting
On a stretcher
At emergency room
In good hands”
Can I do anything from here?
You just did”
Muscle spasm love
“I’m coming to Santa Fe
I’m coming to get you
I am going to take care of you
Forever”
A proclamation of how good
You will be
To me and for me
Singing me songs
“From the most comfortable bed
with a view of Long Island sound”
Under the influence
Of potent pain killers
And powerful love
Breathe sweet troubadour
And hear
My heart beating
With yours

04.20.2010          I Want To Sleep With You In The Desert Under The Stars
Sleepy eyes
Weary
Sad romance songs
Nearly empty bar
Thoughts leave the room
My heart beating a path to you
And now I breathe
My body landing in spirit
Breathing into a deep place
Of rest
Thank you
For night fall
And soft sheets
And a firm mattress
And dreams
I want to sleep with you
In the desert
Under the stars

04.21.2010           Into The Fire   
Communion
To have the same frequency
The same vibration
As love
Stand in the fire
With me
And know when to step out
Before we explode
Combust
Melt
Alchemy
But stand long enough
In the fire with me
To be shaped
By burning love
Made new
Each time
We choose
To go
Into the fire

04.23.2010     A.M. Email P.M. Text
A.M. EMAIL
Girl on fire
Earth Day is Every Day
My personal earth day question
How is a girl who likes flying in the ethers
So much
Ever going to have a roll in the hay
Rhetorical to hysterical
P.M. TEXT
I am liquid
Running deep
And rich
And real
Like a warm soft comforter
All over you
Into a river of sleep

04.25.2010          Almost All Most A Full Moon
Shimmering sunset light
Blossoms exploding in color
Gentle wind applauding
Shaking limbs and leaf
Useless sweet puffs of clouds
Hang close to the mountains
Turning pink to gold
As I smile
Above it all
An almost full moon
Pulls me upward
And away
Rolling
Tumbling
Turning
Towards you
Into the ethers
I go in all ways
Always
Kissing the moon

04.26.2010          Clarification Please
Legs straight up in the air
With pink toenails
Honest thinking
Instead of wishful
How many places
Between the 2100 miles
Have you asked me
To meet you
In my wake
Perhaps that is divine design
There is more being
Clarified than meets the eye
A full moon is forming
My body is going liquid
Waves rushing through me
I feel lonely tonight
I want a real date
With a real man
Awake

04.30.2010          Snow Hail Rain Sun 
Wishing I could run
Across the desert
Fly through the sky
Into your arms
On a crazy weather loop
Snow hail rain sun

05.02.2010           Cocoon Swoon Dance
Pink clouds at sunrise
Snow kissing the day hello
Wrapped in soft cotton
Swirls of pheromone
Glands swell
Temperature rises
Body moves
Cocoon Swoon Dance

05.03.2010          Let’s Never See Each Other In Person This is Heaven   
I sigh
I lie down at 4pm
In the cocoon
In the space of in-between
In the Waiting Room
My body wants to spoon
My limbs want to be tangled
My hairline wants to sweat
My nervous system wants to pump
My pelvic wants to pulsate
My breathe wants to
Exhale femininity and inhale you
I’m waiting for who?
Refrain
Let’s see each other in person
And know heaven on earth

05.05.2010           Dream Up
Invitation
“Dream up
Dream up
Let me fill your cup
With the promise
Of a man”
Harvest
“Art washed away
from the soul
the dust
of everyday life”.
Pablo Picasso
Response
“Dream up
Dream up
Let me fill your cup
With the promise
Of a woman”

05.06.2010        These Are The Eyes On Mother’s Day   
These are the eyes
That have never seen her child
These are the ears
That have never heard her child
These are the arms
That have never held her child
These are the legs
That have never walked her child
These are the hands
That never touched her child
This is the heart
That has always loved her

05.06.2010           Curls In The Air
On low self-esteem days
I curl my long brown hair
Simple solutions
Movie Star Waves
Coming at you!

05.07.2010            Migraine Strain     
Saw the white dots
Spirit moved out of body
Chasing light
Leaving pain
Flattened for the day

05.08.2010            One One One Won    
Good day
One cotton white sheet
One soft down comforter
One silk covered pillow
To rest my precious head on
I am lucky
I love to work
I work to love
“Turn, trust Spirit, and flee from thee all that is less”.

05.09.2010           Crooked Places    
Have braces on my teeth since September
They serve as a metaphor for my life
Straightening out the crooked places
Naturally
The man did not land
My teeth ache today
Another Virgin Awakening
Bent into love

05.10.2010          Send Me Peonies       
Aching heart and head and shoulders
Want you to send me flowers
Yes peonies
Peonies would be wonderful
Listening to dramatic sitar music
Suits my mood
Stormy
Deep river
Swimming width and depth
No more on the surface
Cotton candy text
Send me your underpants
Send me your peonies
Send me your heart
Send me your sad story
Send me your sincerity
Send me your truth
I will receive it
I will listen
I am tumbling across the windswept landscape
Rolling past a grandmother asking me to find
Her first grand-daughter
Rolling past doors
I said I would not open
That now are ajar
Rolling past rules I made that I said
I will retire
Rolling past feelings of longing
Rolling past dreams of asking
Am I awake or dreaming
Are you here or hear me
Rolling Rolling Rolling
Spinning Spinning Spinning
Turning Turning Turning
Yearning Yearning Yearning
To land on a man
Who will put his arms around me
And Stand strong
As the wind blows

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