Dear Life, I invited three friends to join me for a meal and cards on Labor Day. I wwent to the Dollar Store to get party favors and was delighted to find these “sharks”. We call ourselves the “card sharks”. I wrote the name of each guest on their shark and used as place markers. We had so much fun “sharking”.
Simple pleasures. A day of relief from cancer treatments, money concerns, what if’s, and all the noise fear can make. It pays to spend a dollar and jump into the ocean of love to play with the sharks.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

The Card Sharks 09.04.2023

Dear Life, Here’s a poem I wrote about one of the many strange cancer treatment side effects most people don’t know about:

Eyes are dilated large as planets
Oil glands in lids closed for the season
Dry as the surface of the moon
Cancer treatment is the given reason

Fill a sock with rice and microwave
Place between the forehead and nose
Lie on the bed with this warm compress
While being still as a long-stem rose

This has caused difficulty at times reading, writing, painting, and other activities. Eye glands are beginning to open so I am “seeing” improvement, thankfully.

Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Self-Portrait Painting 2021

Dear Life, September arrives with this: it’s time to sharpen my pencils, get the three-ring binder together and have my books ready for the first day of school. This began at six years old, a scholarly nerd wearing ankle socks and Mary Janes. Saturday I begin a Poetry Workshop. The week has been in preparation, reading poetry books and poems I’ve written. I need to choose one of my poems to workshop. Deadline to email poem has come and gone. Received kind note from teacher to send today.
Can I “let go of disapproving of myself”, be accepting of my chemo brain, and put on the ankle socks. Pencils and binder are ready!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM 1960

Dear Life, Kintsugi is the ancient art of making shattered dishes “whole”, a Japanese aesthetic celebrating the beauty in imperfection. The artisans use gold to fill the cracks. The dish is then considered more valued and stronger. Today, I have treatment as I complete 14 days of oral meds. Tomorrow, I receive an injection to boost bone marrow activity. These treatments are intended to make the body whole and strong, free of cancer cells. I am the beauty of imperfection.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

B&W Painting with Flowers

Dear Life, I love an evening of being with friends, eating good food and playing TEXAS LIVERPOOL RUMMY. Game has several AKA’s through out the country. At this Southwest table, we had sharp-shooting hands, quick-witted minds, along with lots of hoots and laughs from the sharks. So much fun. I love to play!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

The Card Sharks 08.19.2023

Dear Life, Cancer patients know that the good news of a clear scan does not necessarily mean the end of treatment. It means the drugs are working to prevent cancer. My oncologist told me this on Tuesday. He also said there’s no cure yet. I came off my pink cloud and landed back on earth. I asked if we could cut treatment in half and he asked if I could stop bargaining with him. Yes, I am that patient. Pushing the edges, advocating for myself, asking all the questions. I am an optimist who hopes to hear “treatment is over”. Someday. Today, I continue the oral meds and infusions. I am grateful to have a Strong Body.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I met with the radiologist in his “space station” at XRAY Associates, a dark room with a gravity chair facing multiple large screens with a computer. We went through my PetScan report while looking at images from the past 6 months. My spirit lifted as he declared, “these images are clear. Negative. The immunotherapy drugs are working.” I walked out on clouds, tears in my eyes, thanking my Higher Power, the medical professionals, my body and all of you. I see Dr Herbert, my oncologist, today to discuss the report and what’s next. Another Miracle!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, While the sold-out theaters captivate audiences with Oppenheimer and Barbie, and more indictments roll out of Washington DC, I plead “Immunity”. Focus and attention are at home documenting 5 years of love letters. That’s a personal story of many life colors still being written. I am not on strike. It’s a blockbuster!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 08.03.2023

Dear Life, My home studio was rearranged. We opened up the space and made a clear pathway through it. Feels good. I am also rearranging my neural pathways: 10,000 repetitions of a thought makes a new neural pathway. This requires discipline, awareness and a desire to thrive. A friend who interviewed me for a podcast called me a “Cancer Thriver”. This rang true within me. Yes, I want to thrive each day no matter the symptoms, side effects, PetScan results, treatments, etc. If my body needs to stay home, I can thrive in my studio. If I need to stay in bed, I can write and read and sleep. I am a great dreamer. When I am upright and out in the world, I appreciate it. I thrive where I am. Thank you, Life.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose