Dear Life, The weather in NM can be a metaphor for what life may feel. A gentle breeze feels calm and refreshing however a dust devil swirls everything dropping it in disarray. The weather this summer has been a bit of both. I watched a dark thunderstorm over the mountains, hoping for rain, move off to the north. No rain. Temperatures are above average. My PetScan in May was inconclusive leaving more questions than answers. It’s a “scan in a slice of time”. Another will be done in August. Today I see Dr Snyder, my first oncologist and friend. I look forward to talking with him about all things including the weather!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayon Drawing 07.07.2023

Dear Life, I visited a friend in Taos for the weekend. We drove to the UNM campus and enjoyed the sculptures throughout the property, especially this ceramic tile installation. The sky was cloud-filled and the earth expanded in all directions with mountains, plains and the gorge. Our journey took us onto dirt roads in low valleys and high into the hills, new places we never had been. So much fun and joyful. All who wander are not lost.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM 07.09.2023 Taos, NM

Dear Life, What a journey Lymphoma opened up to me, inside and out. Prior to 2018, I had good health. Headaches and allergies came and went. Then mysterious medical issues arose. A diagnosis of cancer n January 2020 clarified and changed my journey. I am constantly learning how cancer affects me and everyone around me. No one is untouched. We all know someone, or yourself, who has been diagnosed with a form of cancer. How do we travel this landscape? I look for inspiration, all kinds of inspiration, Inside myself and all around me. The landscape of life surprises me. One step at a time. I live.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 2023

Dear Life, I came across this wisdom on Facebook a couple of days ago. It rings true for me. How to hold regret tenderly:
“I wish I would have done that differently, and at the time, I couldn’t.”
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayon Drawing 07.02.2023

Dear Life, Went with a couple of friends to Save the Horses Consignment store yesterday. This jacket and jeans fit like a glove so came home with me. I am a girl from the 60’s. Climbed over fences (more fun than buying a ticket) to hear great rock music.Went to Woodstock and heard every band. Loved Toad’s Place and CBGB’s to sweat with the crowds up close to The Ramones, Talking Heads and other greats, Michael Jackson and The Police at Madison Square Garden..Many extraordinary musical performances. Have to mention meeting Miles Davis at Carnegie Hall. And all the jazz cool cats. I love these memories and still wear the gear! I’m a Rock n’Roll Girl!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, My body is integrating the medical chemicals. I surrender to the tiredness that occurs due to this process. It’s exhausting inside work.While resting, I have phone visits. Friday, after a booster injection, I had a talk with Esther Kelbaugh, childhood friend. We discussed making art, drawing and using new materials. I heard myself say, “Just take out all the colors and make marks. Move the hand and see what happens.” Well, later that day, after a month hiatus from drawing, I followed my own advice and took out some colors and moved my hand. Thank you Esther and Arlene and all the people moving their hands with colors for inspiring me. Feels good.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayons 06.30.2023

Dear Life, This morning I’ll go to Nexus, new cancer center where I’ve been treated since January, and get a booster injection. Neutrophils are low so we’re boosting them before anything gets critical. Treatments can lower blood and neutrophil counts. I’ll treat myself out to breakfast at Cafe Fina after injection. My favorite place to eat homestyle food at good prices. Basic Breakfast: two eggs with English Muffin and home fries $7.95. A carbohydrate booster!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Today I have doctor/infusion treatment 9-3. I am on Day 14 of oral meds. Tomorrow begins 14 day cycle of no meds or treatment. My bloodwork looks stable. I believe my cells are working in cooperation with the chemicals and my Life Force. I have a deep appreciation for the healing mysteries of the human body. And the spiritual journey I am on living with cancer. Thank you for your continued support by sending me positive, healing thoughts and energy. Your love is felt and helps heal me.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose a golden fish amongst many

Collage 06.2023

Dear Life, This is Tracy, an amazing person and my beautiful daughter. She was on the train to NYC, where she guided a blind runner in a Central Park race on Sunday. When I look at her, my heart swells in places I didn’t know existed. On 01.14.2020, I received a late night email connecting us after 50 years of separation. Thank you Ancestry for the DNA match. Thank you Universe for the miracle of timing. An oncologist had told me that day I had Lymphoma cancer. I had searched over 30 years for Tracy after releasing her for adoption in 1968. This smile is a major reason why I am still walking on this planet. We may not live in the same state but my Life Force has no boundaries. Sending lots of love across the miles with smiles to you and our big family.
Yours truly, Pamela Rose

Tracy on the Train 06.23.2023