Dear Life, I want to live in a place with enough space for what I own to be under one big beautiful roof. My current place is wonderful but small so I have a storage space that houses 45 years of my artwork. Yes there are the Christmas bins and a couple pieces of furniture. But the artwork is what primarily fills the racks and bins and leans up against the walls. When I think about letting go of the “art” it feels like I’m giving up on life. And that’s unbearable. The furniture is replaceable. But the art? I make art. Ah, the reality of an artist.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Storage Space 2023

Dear Life, I looked around my apartment this morning and fell in love with it again. This is happening because I’m seeing another house rental at 11:00am where everything I own could be under one roof i.e. get out of storage. But I would have to have a room mate plus I’m not in love with the other house or it’s location. I guess it’s time to start the physical process of going through my stuff in storage rather than moving. Storage rental price is going up with inflation. Do I really need those three bins of Christmas tree decorations for a seven foot tree? Five year old me is having a tantrum!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Stage Four Lymphoma asks me to make many adaptations. Forget those long lists of “to do’s” and going everywhere with everyone. My energy and time are valued assets and what happens in a day aligns with wonder, awe, and the extraordinary essentials: loving life, connection with family, friends and you, self-care, attending to medical needs, creative and spiritual practices, being of service in manageable ways, working on projects, short grocery lists (I love to cook fresh meals) and being n the flow of the day. This morning I looked at my nesting vases on a kitchen counter and felt happy. Fresh flowers, good coffee, wonder walks. Laughter and tears melding into one. Acceptance of what is. I am a mutating human body having a daily spiritual experience.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Nesting Vases 07.16.2023

Dear Life, The weather in NM can be a metaphor for what life may feel. A gentle breeze feels calm and refreshing however a dust devil swirls everything dropping it in disarray. The weather this summer has been a bit of both. I watched a dark thunderstorm over the mountains, hoping for rain, move off to the north. No rain. Temperatures are above average. My PetScan in May was inconclusive leaving more questions than answers. It’s a “scan in a slice of time”. Another will be done in August. Today I see Dr Snyder, my first oncologist and friend. I look forward to talking with him about all things including the weather!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayon Drawing 07.07.2023

Dear Life, I visited a friend in Taos for the weekend. We drove to the UNM campus and enjoyed the sculptures throughout the property, especially this ceramic tile installation. The sky was cloud-filled and the earth expanded in all directions with mountains, plains and the gorge. Our journey took us onto dirt roads in low valleys and high into the hills, new places we never had been. So much fun and joyful. All who wander are not lost.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM 07.09.2023 Taos, NM

Dear Life, What a journey Lymphoma opened up to me, inside and out. Prior to 2018, I had good health. Headaches and allergies came and went. Then mysterious medical issues arose. A diagnosis of cancer n January 2020 clarified and changed my journey. I am constantly learning how cancer affects me and everyone around me. No one is untouched. We all know someone, or yourself, who has been diagnosed with a form of cancer. How do we travel this landscape? I look for inspiration, all kinds of inspiration, Inside myself and all around me. The landscape of life surprises me. One step at a time. I live.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 2023

Dear Life, I came across this wisdom on Facebook a couple of days ago. It rings true for me. How to hold regret tenderly:
“I wish I would have done that differently, and at the time, I couldn’t.”
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayon Drawing 07.02.2023

Dear Life, Went with a couple of friends to Save the Horses Consignment store yesterday. This jacket and jeans fit like a glove so came home with me. I am a girl from the 60’s. Climbed over fences (more fun than buying a ticket) to hear great rock music.Went to Woodstock and heard every band. Loved Toad’s Place and CBGB’s to sweat with the crowds up close to The Ramones, Talking Heads and other greats, Michael Jackson and The Police at Madison Square Garden..Many extraordinary musical performances. Have to mention meeting Miles Davis at Carnegie Hall. And all the jazz cool cats. I love these memories and still wear the gear! I’m a Rock n’Roll Girl!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, My body is integrating the medical chemicals. I surrender to the tiredness that occurs due to this process. It’s exhausting inside work.While resting, I have phone visits. Friday, after a booster injection, I had a talk with Esther Kelbaugh, childhood friend. We discussed making art, drawing and using new materials. I heard myself say, “Just take out all the colors and make marks. Move the hand and see what happens.” Well, later that day, after a month hiatus from drawing, I followed my own advice and took out some colors and moved my hand. Thank you Esther and Arlene and all the people moving their hands with colors for inspiring me. Feels good.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor Crayons 06.30.2023