Dear Life, Today 2:30-5:30pm are tests. First a mammogram and sonogram, followed by an hour of intravenous chemicals for an eyes-to-thighs PetScan and chest scan. I have to fast today but am allowed coffee now so I don’t bite off anyone’s hand. Yesterday the dermatologist told me the biopsy report was in: the clinical drug SURVIVAC injected into my thighs last year causing cysts, left an injection site cyst with “hole” on my right thigh that won’t heal; a side effect. So may need surgery next week and another biopsy. I was in Target buying toilet paper when I took his call. Felt like laying down on the floor but it’s full of germs. Fortunately my daughter called and I felt joy talking with her. Acceptance of life as it is. Please send me positive vibes today. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 04.25.2023

Dear Life, What is on my journal pages? Prayers, affirmations, notations, quotes of interest, questions concerning daily living and near future possibilities. The weather. What I ate for breakfast. The when, where, what, and who I talked to or visited with. Activities and events. Dreams, both sleepy time ones and heart’s desires. Scribbly drawings. Jokes. My Spirit likes to make me laugh usually at myself. I journal each morning to wake into the world around me. It’s the spiritual set-up for the day ahead and the reflection of the day that just passed. Is it helpful? Beyond measure.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor in Journal 05.08.2023

Dear Life, I pray, meditate, and do my best to live responsibly, but I am not peaceful in every moment. This past week, multiple unexpected medical events unnerved me. Ongoing tests and waiting for results weighed on me. I watched myself erupt abruptly a couple of times. So I pray, meditate, and talk with close friends to unravel the anxiety. Acceptance of cancer and life as it is stretches me. The key to living free is in the moment. Love and Forgiveness. Joy and Hope. Live in the moment.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 4.20.2023

Dear Life, It’s May and it’s filled with 3 weeks of heavy-lifting: medical appointments nearly daily. Monday, dermatologist did a biopsy “to be on the safe side”. I had a cyst wound that wouldn’t heal from cancer injection. Yesterday had bloodwork. Today see Dr Herbert, my oncologist. Lots to talk about. Tomorrow is 9-3pm infusion. Following weeks are many tests and scans. I’ll be lit up by radiation. That’s me the glowing girl!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, It’s my birth month. I’m feeling Lucky!

Yours Truly Pamela Rose

Dear Life, While attending the School of Visual Arts in 1982, I did a series of self-portraits, this one being a favorite. Today, in Suleika Jouad’s The Isolation Journals, a prompt was given: “Without thinking, draw a self-portrait”. I am still in bed so pulled up this image but will make a drawing after I roll into the day and studio. This painting reminds me of who I am: able to live each day with inner strength, love, vulnerability, creativity, and guidance… with a little (lot of) help from my friends. Thank you to all the “communities” in my life.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Self-Portrait Acrylic Painting 1982

Dear Life, Snow swirled in the air for a couple of hours yesterday leaving a few inches of rich dense cover that melted into the ground by 3:00pm. Quenching the high-desert earth. We love when that happens. I stayed in all day, spring cleaned and worked in the studio. Felt like the weather. Changeable. Unexpectedly, I was asked to speak at a 3:30 ZOOM meeting. Uplifted me. I love when life does this… sends me swirling on a trajectory I cannot see but benefits me. Received feedback that it helped others too. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 04.25.2023

Dear Life, Spring weather is emotional. High winds. Rain. Sleet. Turbulence with warm air colliding with cold. Clouds. Twisters. Dust devils. Radiant sunshine. The earth waking and erupting. Rivers overflowing. Trees and foliage blooming. Grasses and plants breaking through the ground. Changeable. I woke early considering the impact of spring on my inner landscape. Besides allergies, (all that pollen being tossed around) I found curiosity about life, this day, the near future. How are the winds of spring affecting me? New painting.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 04.27.2023

Dear Life, I was happy to hear the optometrist say “You have very healthy eyes. And tell your oncologist, there’s no lymphoma cells.” Cancer-free eyes. Yay! I need to put a warm compress on my eyes to open up the oil glands that line my eyelashes. The chemicals of treatment have closed them leaving my eyes extremely dry, vision sometimes blurry. Did you know we have oil glands for our eyes? I didn’t. Living in the dry climate of Santa Fe also drys the tear ducts. So putting eyedrops in too. Keeping these sparkly, beautiful, big vision eyes healthy!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose