Dear Life, Today I return to Santa Fe after two weeks in the East visiting family and friends. My mother is declining and family with help is caring for her. My visit included lots of storytelling, listening, and letting Mom know she is loved. Visit to Maine refreshed my spirit. As I head toward the west, I contemplate the cycles of life and death, the miracles and pains that we experience. Bittersweet.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, I said to my campus studio, “I am going on vacation for two weeks. Will be back July 30th. Let imagination fill this space while I’m away. Thank you for being in my life.” I’ll be taking the red-eye from ABQ to JFK tonight. Arriving at 6:00am EST. My sister will scoop me up and take me to CT. You all know what I’ll be doing on Saturday morning. Hit the snooze button, please. Then visit Mom. The summer family vacation is about to begin!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Energy Portraits in SFCC Campus Studio 07.10.2024
Dear Life, How does one stay “cool” amidst the “climate” changes in our personal landscapes, weather, local and global politics? I woke before dawn and lay still while practicing a breathing technique to calm the brain waves. Anxiety cannot exist while you are relaxed. Breathe in through your nose as deep as you can then take another quick breath in and release through your mouth from the belly. Repeat a few times. Clears the debris in the mind. Opens up the passage to the heart. Helps the flow of blood. Rejuvenates the body. Connects with love.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, These images are graphite drawings on paper called Energy Portraits. They help me to see what is going on within me in different realms. Creative energy is evidence of my life force. that moves me in and through the dualities of living. Joy and despair. Peace and suffering. Solitude and upheaval. Happiness and sadness. Health and illness. Plenty and lack. Light and dark. I am grateful to be alive and know the still point, the chaos, the eye of the storm, the beauty of it all.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, No cancer patient wants to hear from their oncologist, “This scan causes me concern”. The recent PetScan report revealed enlarged lymph nodes and lit up areas indicating new growth. Large B Cell Lymphoma is aggressive. We discussed staying on one more month of current treatment then CAR-T Cell Therapy. I have been opposed to this therapy after a failed Stem Cell Replacement in 2021. Now I need to be open-minded, meet a specialist and receive more information. The cancer journey takes another turn. Be present. Envision health.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Ink on Yupo Paper 7″ x 5″ 06.24.2024
Dear Life, Up early today. Rolled out of bed into the shower, dressed in metal-free clothes, drove to XRAY Associates, had injection of chemicals, then rested in a dark room for an hour before “tubing”. Report will be available Thursday when I see oncologist to go over results. Came home to start the day over. Drank coffee and ate breakfast. Took Day Four oral chemo med. Breathe and release the jitters. Breathe and Be. Rest then go to studio.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, I love summer, the long hours of light, the warmth, the balance of work and play. I love the proliferation of gardens abundant with flowers and vegetation. I love the sky of New Mexico changing hourly with clouds and monsoons. I love to visit family and friends in the CT and Maine, feel my feet in sand, jump into the ocean and lakes, eat lobster rolls, sit around open-pit fires roasting and eating marshmallows on sticks. Summer palette of Joy. Happy Solstice and Full Moon!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Ink on Yupo Paper 7″ x 5″ 06.18.2024
Dear Life, My mother has stabilized and family is visiting. Rosie loves the attention, is planning her 94th birthday party, and welcoming everyone. She has assured me she’ll “still be kicking” in July when I can make the trip to CT. I have medical appointments and cancer treatments coming up so need to be in Santa Fe. Daily I feel gratitude for my life, and creativity and solitude in my studio on campus. I enjoy the community of people.
Breathing deep, in and out, I carry on.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Studio on Campus 06.17.2024
Dear Life, Yesterday a photo of me and my daughter was hung in Mom’s home. Her children, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren are displayed here. Photos have come and gone from the “gallery” as marriages and divorces happened, and as more children came into the family. I gave my parents the “It’s A Wonderful Life” sign many years ago. Dad died in 2014. Mom moved from the family home into assisted living in 2020. Family and your prayers are lifting Mom’s spirt. The gallery is always changing.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Pamela Rose Markoya 