Dear Life, Last night, I joined 70 people on a Zoom webinar “Write To Heal” hosted by the Cancer Foundation. It was a privilege and honor to participate. My sister, Arlene, took these screen shots while I was reading. Here is one of the pieces I read that was written after being diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma and the Pandemic hit the world:

3.25.2020 FEAR IN THE TIME OF CANCER AND COVID-19
fear of never being held again
fear of not touching another person
fear of bones drying up
fear of withering away

fear of money running out
fear of moving in with family
fear of hair growing back curly
fear of taste buds changing

fear of skin going pale
fear of legs not holding my weight
fear of you leaving because I have cancer
fear of me leaving because I have cancer

fear of life ending before I hold you
fear of what else might take me out
fear of finger and toenails rippling
fear of knocks on the door in the middle of the night

fear of gin sales rocketing in the time of covid-19
fear of seeing the absence of love in your eyes
fear of you not recognizing me
fear of not recognizing myself

fear of losing faith
fear of losing you
fear of losing life
fear of losing me

Pamela Markoya (C) 2020