Dear Life, I was in CVS when my oncologist called to tell me the Scan results. “They’re excellent. Your lymph nodes have shrunk to normal and the lesions on femurs are gone. There is one lit up small area on pelvic. We will see what that looks like in three months. You are good to go on your summer trip.” Tears of joy. The new treatments are successful. My body is amazing. My heart is bursting from all the love. My gratitude is immense for everyone near and far including medical teams, family and friends, who are on this journey with me. Let’s celebrate!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Tests/Scans for now are done. Results will be ready by Monday. Now practice patience. I’ve started to plan an extensive road trip. My energy and overall health feel strong. Yes I have a weird thing happening on my thigh but hope it will heal sooner than later. If PetScan results look decent, I can skip a once-a-month infusion. This gives me a clear calendar for 8 weeks. I can take the cancer oral medication with little side effects anywhere. Patience. Persistence. Positive vibes. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Today 2:30-5:30pm are tests. First a mammogram and sonogram, followed by an hour of intravenous chemicals for an eyes-to-thighs PetScan and chest scan. I have to fast today but am allowed coffee now so I don’t bite off anyone’s hand. Yesterday the dermatologist told me the biopsy report was in: the clinical drug SURVIVAC injected into my thighs last year causing cysts, left an injection site cyst with “hole” on my right thigh that won’t heal; a side effect. So may need surgery next week and another biopsy. I was in Target buying toilet paper when I took his call. Felt like laying down on the floor but it’s full of germs. Fortunately my daughter called and I felt joy talking with her. Acceptance of life as it is. Please send me positive vibes today. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 04.25.2023

Dear Life, What is on my journal pages? Prayers, affirmations, notations, quotes of interest, questions concerning daily living and near future possibilities. The weather. What I ate for breakfast. The when, where, what, and who I talked to or visited with. Activities and events. Dreams, both sleepy time ones and heart’s desires. Scribbly drawings. Jokes. My Spirit likes to make me laugh usually at myself. I journal each morning to wake into the world around me. It’s the spiritual set-up for the day ahead and the reflection of the day that just passed. Is it helpful? Beyond measure.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor in Journal 05.08.2023

Dear Life, I pray, meditate, and do my best to live responsibly, but I am not peaceful in every moment. This past week, multiple unexpected medical events unnerved me. Ongoing tests and waiting for results weighed on me. I watched myself erupt abruptly a couple of times. So I pray, meditate, and talk with close friends to unravel the anxiety. Acceptance of cancer and life as it is stretches me. The key to living free is in the moment. Love and Forgiveness. Joy and Hope. Live in the moment.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 4.20.2023

Dear Life, It’s May and it’s filled with 3 weeks of heavy-lifting: medical appointments nearly daily. Monday, dermatologist did a biopsy “to be on the safe side”. I had a cyst wound that wouldn’t heal from cancer injection. Yesterday had bloodwork. Today see Dr Herbert, my oncologist. Lots to talk about. Tomorrow is 9-3pm infusion. Following weeks are many tests and scans. I’ll be lit up by radiation. That’s me the glowing girl!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, It’s my birth month. I’m feeling Lucky!

Yours Truly Pamela Rose

Dear Life, While attending the School of Visual Arts in 1982, I did a series of self-portraits, this one being a favorite. Today, in Suleika Jouad’s The Isolation Journals, a prompt was given: “Without thinking, draw a self-portrait”. I am still in bed so pulled up this image but will make a drawing after I roll into the day and studio. This painting reminds me of who I am: able to live each day with inner strength, love, vulnerability, creativity, and guidance… with a little (lot of) help from my friends. Thank you to all the “communities” in my life.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Self-Portrait Acrylic Painting 1982

Dear Life, Snow swirled in the air for a couple of hours yesterday leaving a few inches of rich dense cover that melted into the ground by 3:00pm. Quenching the high-desert earth. We love when that happens. I stayed in all day, spring cleaned and worked in the studio. Felt like the weather. Changeable. Unexpectedly, I was asked to speak at a 3:30 ZOOM meeting. Uplifted me. I love when life does this… sends me swirling on a trajectory I cannot see but benefits me. Received feedback that it helped others too. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 04.25.2023