Dear Life, It is Good Friday and throughout Northern New Mexico people are making “the pilgrimage” to Chimayo Chapel. They pray, repent for their sins, and ask for forgiveness as they walk a mile, 10 miles, many miles. Each day, I practice spiritual principles to help me live a loving and caring life. It is not perfect but I walk in the faith of progress. Today I go to the Cancer Center, see Dr. Herbert then have treatment 9-3. Come home and finish packing for trip tomorrow to CT. Throughout the day, I will pause, be still, appreciate the people around me and be grateful for the Life Force within me. My Pilgrimage.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, These radiant tulips were a gift from a friend. Joy-filled. Yesterday I filled a shopping cart at Trader Joe’s with orchids and potted bulb flowers. Shoppers and staff commented “What a happy cart!” A cashier helped put them in an open box and off I went to the Cancer Center where I gave gifts to receptionists, schedulers, nurses, and Dr. Herbert, my oncologist. Everyone in the building including patients were delighted. A nurse asked, “Are you done with treatment?” I replied, “No, you will see me Friday. This is a Thank You”. The flowers are gifts of gratitude, appreciation, and life. My heart swelled with joy.
I am still smiling.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, This is one of my paintings, Moon Mountains,1994. I sold it to a collector. His family was kind to return it to me upon his death. Now it happily lives in my sister’s home. Tonight is the Pink Full Moon and I’m inspired to paint it. New Mexico is my soul’s home. I felt it during my first visit in 1989-90. I moved to Santa Fe in 1991 with the idea of painting for a year then returning to NYC. Well, that “idea” lives on, living here and visiting NYC and CT. I’ll be flying East in a few days, seeing these mountains and landscape from above. They are my earthly foundation, my healing ground to live on.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Moon Mountains 1994

Dear Life, This week in the Jewish and Christian faiths commemorate meaningful passages: Passover and Easter. Exodus to Freedom. Last Supper, Crucifixion and Resurrection. Raised Catholic, I celebrated Easter in church where I felt mostly horrified that Jesus was killed and put on a cross then came alive again, a big concept for a little mind to wrap around. But this was balanced by running in fields of green grass hunting excitedly for plastic easter eggs filled with sweet surprises and receiving an Easter Basket overflowing with jelly beans, marshmallow chicks, a solid chocolate bunny and a stuffed animal. Rituals.
This letter started out with large concepts however Spirit took it to childhood when I learned: no matter how strange life around me seemed there was chocolate and bunnies and joy!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, In the past few years, I have discovered the Inner Marriage, a bond with my Life Force greater than any circumstance, including cancer. This marriage provides comfort, support, strength and courage especially when I am feeling vulnerable. I receive the resources and energy I need to be in life. Sometimes I am a horizontal human landscape requiring hours of rest. Most of the time, I am vertical, engaged in life’s offerings and activities, leaning into love and creativity, losing and finding myself, discovering new experiences of people, places and things. I am having a new experience of love with me. It is said, the third marriage is a charm. I am in it and I agree!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Arlene, my sister, sent me this photo of a beautiful flower growing in the weeds. How is it that something so unexpected and so beautiful can come from the tangles and weeds of life?!? Cancer is teaching me how to love myself and others unconditionally. I keep learning lessons of kindness, empathy, generosity, and seeing beauty amidst the weeds. I walked my neighborhood yesterday. Saw daffodils and tulips emerging from gardens covered with dead leaves, sticks, and winter’s debris. I see myself in the mirror emerging from years of cancer treatments, A Beauty In The Weeds, happy for another day. Today is Palm Sunday. Ah, the childhood memories! The procession of life continues thankfully.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, In 2020 during chemotherapy, I lost all of my hair. Devastating. It grew back slowly to an inch but in 2021, I lost it all again during Stem Cell Replacement. In frustration, I shaved my head. Shattering. During 2022, I did an Immunotherapy Clinical Trial but again the cancer outsmarted the drugs. Now I am on a new treatment plan. So far, no major hair loss. I even have enough hair to get it “styled” next week by my hairdresser. But yesterday I started clipping the ends near my eyes. The scissors felt like I had some control over one thing in my life. I had the sense to call girlfriends and say, “This is a cut and call. I need to stop cutting my hair even though I consider myself a good haircutter”.
Here is my head of hair. Pretty nice!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, One of the challenges of living in the present is planning the near future. As a cancer patient, I can feel locked down between doctor appointments, treatments, scan results, and the insistent question “how does my body feel”. Then there’s the rigid schedule I impose upon myself to do the same routines everyday without spontaneity entering into the mix. How can I LIVE FULLY if I feel I am in “lockdown”. Remembering the past two Easters in CT with family and my daughter, I booked a flight to be with them this Easter. Surprise my 92 year old mother! I am grateful to feel strong enough to follow my heart.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 03.22.2023

Dear Life, Here I am in Abiquiu Village on Saturday with a Wind Devil. Or is that an Angel? The Three Crosses Church is only steps away from Georgia O’Keeffe’s house and studio. The spectacular vista expands for miles. My heart is joyful. I feel healthy and strong, free and grateful.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM Abiquiu Village 03.25.2023