Dear Life, Thank you for all the loving messages yesterday. Keeps me above the waterline of critical anemia that throughout the day messages my brain “Go to bed”. Sometimes I succumb and flop down for five minutes with my eyes closed. Then like a carnival doll, I pop up and move. This always makes me laugh. My Spirit has other ideas for me like making art, walking with friends, eating good meals, going to zoom meetings, writing, reading, and watching a variety of TV. Sparked By Joy.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I feel very loved and grateful to be alive. I send much love out into the world to all my friends and family. Thank you so much for all the support sent via the “airways”. It is felt beyond measure. I hope you feel my appreciation and love. You carry me!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
PS My hair is growing and almost ready to go public!

Dear Life, This photo popped up on my phone recently. Taken in Maine 2011 during my epic solo “blue roads only” trip across the country. Stayed off the major highways as best I could and saw so many beautiful places and met wonderful people everywhere. I’m dreaming of future trips scheduled between immunotherapy treatments. It is all possible. Grateful to be alive.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Happy to go through my painting bins, see the work I’ve done over the past year and find my favorite painting. She is a muse, painted in the 1980’s while I lived in NYC and attended the School of Visual Arts. Yesterday, I placed her in a frame next to my bed so I could be inspired by her every day. I feel peace regardless of the C’s: Covid, Cancer, Cabin Fever. My body has more strength each day. Walking more outside and working more in the studio. Feeling the sparks of joy daily.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I was told by the Clinical Trial Coordinator, “We are holding off on the chemo medication until we see your blood counts on February 21st. Your neutrophils are still too low to take chemo.” I am relieved not to take chemo meds and hoping neutrophils will go up so I feel better. I wrote an advocacy letter requesting to be taken out of chemo group and be put in non-chemo group of clinical trial. Chemo no longer works in my body. Immunotherapy treatments are the best line of defense. Build a stronger immune system and let my warrior body do its thing!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I happily received good news on two health fronts: Brain Scan is clear. A relief. White Blood Count went up from 1.41 to 2.40. Normal low-end count is 4.00 so this is an improvement. Neutrophils went up, too. Red Blood Count and Platelets are holding where they were a week ago with no major declines. Feeling better. I am advocating that I remain in clinical trail but in the non-chemo group. I’ll know if that can happen by the end of the week. Quality of life matters. My body is a resilient fighter.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, At noon I go to Cancer Center for blood work in order to see if white blood cell and neutrophil counts have bumped up in the past week. I will also go to X-ray Associates in the same building to see radiologist and go over results of brain scan.
Another day in the life of …
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, With the temperature in the single digits at night, I wake, look out the window and see cars that look like Crystal Palaces. I get my frothed coffee from my warm kitchen and get back into bed where I enjoy the inner journey. My body is happily adjusting to fewer meds and working with my mind visualizing and creating plentiful, healthy, new cells. My Spirit is forever replenishing me with a bountiful Life Force.
I’m ready to bust out from having CABIN FEVER! Warmer days are ahead.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I’ll be out the door soon for a 9:30-11:00am Brain Scan appointment. We are taking a look at what’s going on in there. Meanwhile, someone forgot to turn up the temperature outside! 10 degrees. Warm up the car and keep my face covered… just like we always have to do. Wear our masks for safety, protection and warmth!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

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