Dear Life, Waking at 4am when the body’s chemicals are churning can be a mental minefield. The “what if’s” conjure up fear and say, F**k Everything And Run! The cacophony is quieted with another acronym, Face Everything And Recover. Gratefully, I slept within minutes. My mind has been trained to redirect. I love this photo I took of crows in tangled tree branches. It illustrates no matter how tangled my thoughts can appear, within it is my Higher Power, a partnership that lifts me through it all.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, No matter the time, the circumstances, or people involved, I breathe deep into my belly and with gratitude say, “I’m grateful I’ll be eating Turkey and Pumpkin Pie today!” My love goes out to everyone everywhere for being a part of my life’s journey. Enjoy this day and whatever brings you gratitude < I am grateful for you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Yesterday, Dr. Bennett and nurse Lauren, smoothly performed multiple biopsies. “Sounds like a nail gun” each time a bit of me was clipped from my pelvic. Came home and took a walk. I’m grateful I can walk, make art, talk on the phone with family and friends, and not open the biopsy report until Dr. Snyder sees me next week after talks with my team about the results and what’s next. Patience helps keep my Sacred Interior peaceful. Sacred Interior is the multiple layers reflected in my life above and below the waterline. I am a high profile introvert. I love connecting with others and also need personal quiet time for creating, reflecting, rejuvenating. My best days are a balance of both.
Yesterday, was a good day.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Today, I get a pelvic biopsy at 1:00pm. Results will be next week due to holiday. Woke early, rattling around in my head so quickly affirmed my commitment to live through these medical experiences with grace. Feel the feelings and let them pass. Fear and anxiety are replaced with faith and curiosity. I’m in the hands of excellent medical professionals. I’m in the hearts of loving family and friends. I’m in the Grace of a Higher Power, I whole-heartedly trust. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, The hidden life of cancer began in me as early as 2018. I was hospitalized for 10 days after Thanksgiving 2018. Twelve biopsies were performed all coming back negative. But the lymphoma hid out behind my healthy cells until it rushed my body and was diagnosed in January 2020. During this time, I was painting black and white paintings then placing foliage and flowers on the surface to photograph. Also collaged and made drawings with many centers of active energy. A deep creative intuition. This past week, I’ve looked at the art I created 2018 thru 2021. The creative spirit always depicts my inner self and how it’s being dealt with it outwardly.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Fear could take over my mind if I give it the ear time. Let’s face it, fatal diseases throw fear into the mix. Yet, each day, I wake up, breathe, feel my lungs and heart open, and hear birds singing, cathedral bells chiming, and feel my chest. My heart is beating. This is the channel I am listening to: LIFE. And when the static of fear tries to change the station and close my heart, I remember: The secret of love is in opening your heart… and living.
It’s a good day to be alive.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I live in a house with very different views than the loft. But new sightings are happening. Surprises. I went into the dark kitchen to tidy up before bed and, in the dark, I saw a reflection on the white marble counter. It was coming through a small opening of the window shade. I opened the shade, and there was the Full Moon saying, “Hello Pamela, here I am”, letting me know, I can see the moon from here.

Moon light also reminds me, I AM NEVER ALONE. I went to bed and wrote a Word Poem inspired by the event: White On White
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I had an ambitious spiritual reading earlier: ZEST, affirming “an extraordinary day… grab each moment with gusto… squeeze every drop of pleasure out of each moment…” My Spirit was on board however my sleepy head and waking body reached for another sip of coffee. Okay. Recalibrate. I will move into this day aware there is a potent partial eclipse Full Moon and everything is up for grabs. I chose this beautiful collage and these words: WHOLE BODY WELLNESS…. ABLE, along with ALIVE AND THRIVE to affirm today and into the next season, Winter. Thank you, Judy Tuwaletstiwa for glass alchemy shards in the image. I am now feeling a little zestier.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I left Dr. Snyder uplifted, expressing my gratitude for his support and wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving. We will reconvene on 12.1.2021 to take a look at more blood tests and the biopsy report. He suggested, “Don’t jump to any conclusions. Your blood work is better each week and you feel well”. I’ll follow his lead and go into this holiday season grateful for my life, sobriety, loved ones, and hot water in my new apartment!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose