Dear Life, I am in a 30-Day Program “Surrender Pamela”.
Day 22. I assessed what’s up since then: experienced struggle, joy, confusion, sadness, pain, grief, love, serenity, curiosity, love, discomfort, irritability, desire for change, self-made drama (around moving), madness, crankiness, tolerance, frustration, fear, worry, concern, anger, joy (more than twice), humor, happiness, a little flirtatiousness, generosity, comfort and acceptance. So who is having all these feelings if I surrendered Pamela?
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Treatment went smoothly: nine vials of blood withdrawn and immunotherapy injection. Walked two miles afterward to move the chemical around my body. It’s a ritual that helps me with all of this. Then I painted and collaged, another ritual, to help me with all of life and elections.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I silently drew and painted this watercolor on musical score paper. It makes me feel peace and hopeful. That is enough. I let this image be pervasive throughout my body and mind. Stressful thinking can derail my feeling of well-being. When that happens, I breathe, center and remember: Seaweed. Smile. That’s my deep thought for today.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
PS Out the door to the Cancer Center for treatment.

Watercolor on Musical Score Paper 11.07.2022

Dear Life, Here I am with Catherine Gerry while we visited the Dixon Studio Tour. I met Catherine in 1988 while teaching at New York School of Interior Design. She was a student and now a successful Interior Designer in the NYC metropolitan region. Our friendship has sustained 34 years of life experiences and living 1800 miles apart. I am always grateful when she comes “home” to New Mexico. Friendships make my life thrive and meaningful.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM & Catherine Gerry 11.05.2022 Dixon, NM

Dear Life, I had a delicious day in Dixon and came home with a beautiful blue bowl to complete the set. I love the open four-tier shelving in my kitchen that displays all my dishes, cookbooks, baking bin, and bowls. I love sitting at my kitchen table eating and visiting with friends. This past week, I put a deposit on a townhouse but realized after being there for 90 minutes to take measurements, my things would not fit and I didn’t feel right in it.
Trust my heart and nest where I am. Lesson learned.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I am heading north to the Dixon Studio Tour with three friends where I will buy an eighth bowl to add to my collection. Miya Endo makes gorgeous ceramics including hundreds of these small bowls. And to the delight of her collectors, her family fills each bowl with homemade chile and serves with a chocolate chip cookie. I have not been to her studio in three years due to Covid and health. Today I feel good and ready to go!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I was hooked up to a saline drip through my port and ready for an infusion when the clinical coordinator told me the treatment had to be delayed until next Tuesday. Next week I will get two treatments: Pembro and DPX Survivac. I drove home, ate lunch, and went to bed. My body was programmed for a nap. Later a friend came by to pick up some chicken and rice I had cooked. We visited at the kitchen table and laughed when I said, “I am always well-dressed, even casually, with the belief that someone at anytime can show up at my door and “that someone” may be the love of my life.” I want to feel and look my best.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage and Watercolor 09.06.2022

Dear Life, I’ll be at the Cancer Center today for oncology appointment and treatment. This is the lifeline I’ve been given to possible recovery and a cure for Large Cell Lymphoma. I am in the middle of a two-year trial that requires multiple monthly treatments. I am grateful for the lifeline, the cancer research, the medical professionals, and everyone helping me. All of your positive thoughts uplift me. Big thanks.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 11.01.2022

Dear Life, I received three halloween photos before I woke: Mother Rosie in a witch’s hat rolling on her walker to breakfast in the assisted living dining room. Grandniece Violet decked out as an Hungarian Gypsy at school party. Sober Just For Today message: pic of a real Witch on a broomstick who collided into a telephone pole with a sign: Don’t Drink and Drive! Here’s a photo from my neighborhood where Tricksters will be out in packs tonight. I’ll be going for bloodwork with the Vampires at the Cancer Center! B O O!
Happy Halloween!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose