Dear Life, I walk out my door and see this: tree-lined residential neighborhood and a school park. Also a church and dirt lanes with small houses nestled amongst properties with trees and gardens. It’s lovely and safe. The New Mexico state capital building, fondly called “The Round House”, because it’s round, sits at the end of my street. I see it, too. My prayers for wise leadership will drop into the halls expediently. My state of mind this morning is gratitude. Thank you Higher Power for landing me here.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

• 

• 

Dear Life, Setting up inside of the “jewel box” was a Rubik’s cube design project. I deftly got all three work tables, two bookcases, a stool, and two chairs into this space with reasonable ease. I fit in there, too. Helps that I lost some weight during chemo treatments! Seriously, the studio has a good flow. I’ve started collaging and writing. Typewriter ribbons ordered. The owner stopped by and exclaimed, “This is suppose to be the living room”. It is; the creative, active, LIVING room of an artist. After a good cry yesterday, letting feelings of grief and tiredness flow out, I feel passionate today. The life force is flowing through me.
Yours Truly, Pamela

Dear Life, Happy to be working in the studio. Writing projects feature prominently in my near future. I’m ordering new “ribbons” for my old Smith Corona. Enjoying a walk each day through the neighborhood; colorful leaves on the sidewalks, sound of children, a school and a church within our block. Creative, nice neighbors. Feeling my body rejuvenate and heal. I’m quarantined until immune system is normal. Grateful for friends who do errands for me. I’m probably the only person in Santa Fe who misses walking the aisles of Trader Joe’s. Enjoy this beautiful day!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

• 

• 

Dear Life, Today, a friend will come to the house and set up her sewing machine on my art table to hem and back drapes for the studio windows; northwest exposure. Those of you who live in the SW high desert know we have real winters. I’m preparing. I’ve walked into the bedroom door once during the night. Learning to live with doors! The loft had only a front and bathroom door (BD always left open).
Ah, bumps in the night and so close to Halloween. BOO! I’m smiling.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Yesterday after looking at positive blood results, Dr. Snyder said, “This is your body working.” I laughed and responded, “All I needed to do was move and work my ass off!” The blood results were better with no treatments in two weeks. PetScan and Bone Biopsy are scheduled for mid-November. I told him, “I want to be that miracle you write about in the Medical Journals”. He’s an excellent writer so I’m betting on this.
Thank you to “my team”, all of you, near and far.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, A week ago, I moved. Furniture is in place, books are are shelves, art work is up, and housewares have their new home. There’s some unpacking and organizing to do in the studio with an eye to start working in there later today or tomorrow. Most importantly, I am happy here. Sleeping well in the cozy bedroom. Birds are happy, too. Love the sound of children playing in the schoolyard down the street. Body is holding up to all the work each day. My mind has caught on: We live HERE now. And my Spirit is delighted. I am having a new experience of living. How good is that.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

• 

• 

• 

• 

Dear Life, I receive Maria Popova’s newsletter, BRAINPICKINGS. Her writing is brilliant as are her choices of who she features. This week is especially meaningful, given the “breakdown” I experienced on moving day; not to mention all the ones along the way here after being diagnosed with Lymphoma. I am strong and resilient, AND vulnerable and immunologically compromised. Please take a minute today to read this. Insightful.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Maria Popova quoting Alain de Botton, The School of Life
“With his characteristic eloquence and sensitivity, Alain de Botton offers a mighty antidote to that mythos in a portion of The School of Life: An Emotional Education”…
“A breakdown is not merely a random piece of madness or malfunction; it is a very real — albeit very inarticulate — bid for health and self-knowledge. It is an attempt by one part of our mind to force the other into a process of growth, self-understanding and self-development that it has hitherto refused to undertake. If we can put it paradoxically, it is an attempt to jump-start a process of getting well — properly well — through a stage of falling very ill.”
[…]
“In the midst of a breakdown, we often wonder whether we have gone mad. We have not. We’re behaving oddly, no doubt, but beneath the agitation we are on a hidden yet logical search for health. We haven’t become ill; we were ill already. Our crisis, if we can get through it, is an attempt to dislodge us from a toxic status quo and constitutes an insistent call to rebuild our lives on a more authentic and sincere basis. It belongs, in the most acute and panicked way, to the search for self-knowledge.”

• 

• 

Dear Life, My hands have touched so many of my things in the past weeks getting ready, packing, unpacking and placing them in my new home. There’s a little more unpacking and beautifying to do. These hands need to make art. Helps me to be grounded. These hands are so grateful to all the hands that are helping me during this move. I can’t lift or bend so your hands are invaluable. THANK YOU. LOVE YOU.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Dr. Snyder told me, “Blood counts are up. This is good.” I smiled real big and said, “Moving must be good for me.” I pulled aside my “mask” for a moment so he could see an ear-to-ear grin. His words were music to my ears … like the Cathedral Bells I heard this morning at 7:00am. Yes, I live close enough to the St. Francis Cathedral that I can hear the Bells. It’s a homecoming. From 2009-2018, I heard the Bells everyday from where I lived. The sounds and colors of my life. The gifts and Grace of living.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose