Dear Life, I received this beautiful painting from Bella, a friend for 27 years since her birth. It makes my whole body smile while living in an alternate reality with all the ups and bumps of hospital routines and chemo therapy. All the dabs of paint remind me of my stem cells getting ready to be planted back into me on Monday and Tuesday of next week: “New Life Days”. I’ve named Bella’s painting, New Life.
May my cells take root, blossom, and grow vigorously strong, cancer-free.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, After a bumpy first day, now adjusting. Chemo is twice a day: starts at 8:30am and stops at 11pm. Yep thats a long day. Plus every 4 hours have blood work and stats taken even throughout the night. An alternate reality. I walk the halls for exercise and see other patients. We talk supportively with one another; same club and language. Hoping to be moved to a bigger room with more sunshine. I’m an artist at heart who needs good space. Most importantly, I need good medicine and your love. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

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Dear Life, Today at 8:30am, I get admitted into PLS hospital and the steep climb begins: chemotherapy twice a day for 6 days. The experience feels like this: skin wrapped around a body filled with chemicals that are waging a war for life. My state of mind depends on breathing into my heart, a moment at a time, then breathing out hope for a victory: to be cancer-free. As all this is happening, I focus on each moment, each breath, each person helping me, each prayer that touches my heart. Breathe with me.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

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Dear Life, I get to rest today after 4 days of stem cell collection. We hit the mark needed to admit me to hospital tomorrow and begin next phase of treatment: 6 days of chemotherapy followed by 1 day of rest then 2 days of transplants with 15-18 days of recovery. Hospital stay will be 24-28 days. I’ve been in Denver for 11 days. I miss beloved Santa Fe, my loft, the high desert earth exploding with green after the monsoons and seeing my friends.
My real “home” is in my heart and I do feel you all touching me with your words of love and support. Thank you from a strong yet tired body with a grateful Spirit.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Doctors consulted and due to my compromised bone marrow, the stem cell number needed was reduced again. I’m in the clinic at 7am for the last collection to reach our goal of 2,000,000 for a safe transplant. Day of rest on Sunday then admitted in-patient on Monday. Major marker will be met today as we climb Mt. Everest.
Thank you all for your positive thoughts.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Collection of stem cells continues today. This all important process is required to move forward in the Stem Cell Replacement Treatment. Because I am petite, number is being adjusted lower. With a big breath and prayer, I get ready for my seat at “Big Blue”, hoping we can generate what is needed… 3,000,000 stem cells.
All Angels on deck. We need a miracle.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I got hooked up to “Big Blue” the machine and magic happens. Return today. These are long 9 hour days of medical procedures and sitting while being cared for by incredible professionals like Amy. Today, praying for the stem cell count to go up a lot. Please visualize with me: 5,000,000 Pamie Stem Cells. Sparklers of new life. That’s what we need to move forward with transplant. Thank you to one and all.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Love Letter to Life 07.27.2021 Up Early
Dear Life, Today is the surgical implant of new port for all the stem cell replacement therapy. I’m sitting at the hospital after being at infusion center for an hour. I’ll be in surgery at 9:30am for an hour then two hour recovery. Go back to hotel and rest.
Strange days. Big faith. Be with me.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, New port successfully placed in my chest to be used today for stem cell collection. I will be getting injections, stem cell collection, another Covid test, and more injections for stimulating stem cell growth. It’s a process in which my blood is removed, washed, separated, and restored back into my body, all while capturing stem cells for the lab where my new cells will be grown. I thank my body for being strong and resilient.
I thank you for coming to the rodeo and cheering me on.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose