Dear Life, Sometimes I need to have a good, long cry that washes away the fears. Then my perspective changes. I see with my heart the important things: my body and mind’s resiliency, loving relationships with family and friends, a medical team I trust, the creative life I am living. Yesterday, tears cleared the way to creativity. I painted this watercolor.
Trust My Higher Power.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor

Dear Life, I wake with all the needs, wants, and tasks of a human being plus an altered reality. Energy and vitality are affected by the “battle” going on inside of my body and medical treatments. And the time it consumes. I have to say to myself,
“Breathe. Do not project into the future.”
Living with cancer is a challenging and transformative experience, lived a moment at a time. I get to be in this thing called LIFE, as it is, today. And I am not alone.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage

Dear Life, Hours go into medical and life scheduling. It’s like a Rubik’s Cube, every part needing to line up, dependent on the other, for optimum outcomes. To help me have patience and faith, I visualize flourishing health and healing within my body and in my life.
I must remember: DIVINE ORDER AND TIMING. And have some fun every day!
I made this collage. Enjoy!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Blood work was good so green light for chemotherapy next week, then go to Denver for a bone marrow biopsy, battery of tests and meet Stem Cell Replacement team. I will be in a hospital for 3 three plus weeks then live in a medical hotel with a care giver for post-treatment. Also received a green light to visit my family in CT before the Denver hospitalization. Woke feeling anxious so I meditated and exercised. I need to stay in the moment while preparing for all this.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, What’s on your fridge? I have a variety of magnets and pics that uplift me; gifts from family and friends. Positive messaging is a mental and spiritual tool activating healing energy in the body. I feel the affects of it: love, support, focus, levity, laughter, joy, creativity. I need every prayer, good vibe, and loving thought that you send my way. Thank you. Today, blood work and oncologist appointment to continue treatment plans. Believe. Perceive. Receive. Miracles.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Grace is the hand that extends across human failings and says, “Let me help you”. I fail, I fall, I hurt, and sometimes, I hurt others. Then Grace enters, again and again, and says, “Let me help you up”. Weakness turns to strength. Fear finds faith. Doubts rise into wisdom found in living in the moment. Grace is within me and all around me and extends outward with the hand of love. Thank you, Grace, and I love you, Life.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Photo Montage 2018

Dear Life, Pet Scan revealed most cancer gone except small cell group near spine. Round three of chemo will be in Christus hospital June 14-17th. I hope to visit family in the East in early July. This will boost my Spirit for the 2-3 months of Stem Cell Replacement Treatment in Denver followed by 4-6 months recovery back in Santa Fe. It’s a work in progress. The entire “team” is looking for a “home run”. We can do it!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Acrylic Painting 12.27.2019

Dear Life, Yesterday found me in discussions about medical procedures, tests, Denver date for another bone marrow biopsy, chemotherapy, stem cell treatments, and big questions: quality of life issues and what is important to me. Today after blood tests, I see oncologist to discuss Pet Scan result that will indicate next steps. I am grateful for the people who patiently sit with me, talk, and have moments of relief in laughter.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Mom was in the hospital again, saying, “this is it, the big one” but in 24 hours, she came home, chatty as could be. She told my niece, Kelsey, about the juvenile mishaps of my brothers and sister, calling them “criminals”. No mention of me, the Angel. I love and miss my family and look forward to “making good trouble” with them soon. Did I mention, Mom’s memory is perfect? We are having a good laugh this morning.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose