Dear Life, My painting of muse coming out from behind the veil and swimming. Muse continues to inspire me to stay above the water lines of life and not fear diving deep into the unknowns with curiosity. Care of my body is priority along with letting my Spirit guide my mind and actions. Today, I call Siler Yard Lofts to followthrough with my application; Talk with a few friends on the phone; Get my mail from the past couple of months; Go to a Zoom meeting for my sobriety. Smile, rest, eat little meals.
I don’t take life for granted. This is my day to live in gratitude, love and light.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I arrived at my loft on Thursday, 4:30pm, opened the door, felt sensory overload and thought, “I don’t live here anymore”. A shock. It was a long road trip from Denver to Santa Fe for my body which is still in critical condition. Eleven hours of sleep helped. Still unpacked. I need lots of rest. My Spirit is preparing me for upcoming move in October. My landlord didn’t renew my lease because they could get more money from someone moving in from out of state. Many changes happening. My focus has to be my HEALTH. My body is my HOME. Please send healing and strong, positive vibes towards me. Thank you.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Arlene, my sister, organized an incredible Prayer Flag project. I received nearly 100 prayer flags filled with love and support while I was in the hospital for 24 days. Today, I spread them out on the hotel bed in celebration: I am returning to Santa Fe on Thursday, 9/9. One more clinic visit in Denver tomorrow. I thank those of you that sent me a “flag” and everyone for your prayers. This is a slow recovery. Your support is needed and appreciated. All eyes on coming home.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, A physician assistant told me “we set off an atomic bomb in your body” and my body said, “Yes”. I am grateful for the accurate description. My days consist of rest, clinic and hospital visits, some exercise and recovering from the atomic explosion. It’s challenging and uncomfortable. My body is yet to maintain healthy blood and immune counts. Daily fatigue is serious and other side effects are being managed. However, yesterday, I was able to go outside for a walk in a park and see these flowers. HOPE. Keep the prayers coming.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Yesterday I was discharged from the hospital after 23 days. So happy to be in Marriot Residence Inn Downtown Denver for next few weeks. I get to sleep all night in a big, cozy bed. Lisa is taking wonderful care of me, cooking real food and taking me for walks. Visits to CBCI clinic begin tomorrow where I’ll get tests. Need lots of rest. Post-hospital phase of the healing journey is in progress. Breathing deep into gratitude.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I am so grateful to be on the upside of the trench. Feeling better and stronger so tomorrow, Tuesday 8/24, I will be discharged from the hospital and move into hotel apartment with Lisa, caregiver. I’ll be in out-patient treatment at clinic for a few weeks. Now is the time my body builds up my immune system as stem cells multiply and rejuvenate. A miracle in progress.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

.Dear Life, It is hard to feel this level of fatigue and body discomfort. Fortunately there is no pain. My ANC count was at 0 (no immune system) for over a week. Today it’s 76 and going up. It takes every ounce of energy and focus to do a task. I feel like sleeping but have to get up, shower, move, eat, walk, sit in chair, read and write. Some days I have not been able to do much more than shower and rest. My wise body is working.
Praying and hoping for better days soon.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, 7 days since stem cell replacement; 0% Immune System, 100% fatigue and horrible side effects. This could go on for another 7-12. I’m in bed a lot, eating little and doing my best to not have a breakdown. Please send prayers for healing.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Medical professionals are providing great care 24/7. I’ve been in the hospital 12 days and counting. If all goes well, I’ll be released in 12 plus days. I’ll live in hotel close to hospital for post-treatments and checkups. The way my body feels is comparable to a massive hangover x 10. Yucky. Tastebuds are off. No appetite. I am homesick. So I do my best to be anchored in Spirit, conversations with staff, calls from friends and your messages of love. This little engine has certainly slowed down but I am still chugging along, a moment at a time. Destination: Cancer-Free and Healthy
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose