Dear Life, In the past few years, I have discovered the Inner Marriage, a bond with my Life Force greater than any circumstance, including cancer. This marriage provides comfort, support, strength and courage especially when I am feeling vulnerable. I receive the resources and energy I need to be in life. Sometimes I am a horizontal human landscape requiring hours of rest. Most of the time, I am vertical, engaged in life’s offerings and activities, leaning into love and creativity, losing and finding myself, discovering new experiences of people, places and things. I am having a new experience of love with me. It is said, the third marriage is a charm. I am in it and I agree!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Arlene, my sister, sent me this photo of a beautiful flower growing in the weeds. How is it that something so unexpected and so beautiful can come from the tangles and weeds of life?!? Cancer is teaching me how to love myself and others unconditionally. I keep learning lessons of kindness, empathy, generosity, and seeing beauty amidst the weeds. I walked my neighborhood yesterday. Saw daffodils and tulips emerging from gardens covered with dead leaves, sticks, and winter’s debris. I see myself in the mirror emerging from years of cancer treatments, A Beauty In The Weeds, happy for another day. Today is Palm Sunday. Ah, the childhood memories! The procession of life continues thankfully.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, In 2020 during chemotherapy, I lost all of my hair. Devastating. It grew back slowly to an inch but in 2021, I lost it all again during Stem Cell Replacement. In frustration, I shaved my head. Shattering. During 2022, I did an Immunotherapy Clinical Trial but again the cancer outsmarted the drugs. Now I am on a new treatment plan. So far, no major hair loss. I even have enough hair to get it “styled” next week by my hairdresser. But yesterday I started clipping the ends near my eyes. The scissors felt like I had some control over one thing in my life. I had the sense to call girlfriends and say, “This is a cut and call. I need to stop cutting my hair even though I consider myself a good haircutter”.
Here is my head of hair. Pretty nice!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, One of the challenges of living in the present is planning the near future. As a cancer patient, I can feel locked down between doctor appointments, treatments, scan results, and the insistent question “how does my body feel”. Then there’s the rigid schedule I impose upon myself to do the same routines everyday without spontaneity entering into the mix. How can I LIVE FULLY if I feel I am in “lockdown”. Remembering the past two Easters in CT with family and my daughter, I booked a flight to be with them this Easter. Surprise my 92 year old mother! I am grateful to feel strong enough to follow my heart.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 03.22.2023

Dear Life, Here I am in Abiquiu Village on Saturday with a Wind Devil. Or is that an Angel? The Three Crosses Church is only steps away from Georgia O’Keeffe’s house and studio. The spectacular vista expands for miles. My heart is joyful. I feel healthy and strong, free and grateful.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

PRM Abiquiu Village 03.25.2023

Dear Life, The clouds, freezing temps, and snow showers persist in the high desert in what can only be described as a gnarly Spring. Yesterday during a brief appearance of the sun but still cold, I drove north with a friend to Abiquiu. The roadside restaurant we hoped to eat at was closed due to “the staff have Covid”. Ah, the pandemic. We made our way to the Abiquiu Inn and enjoyed their fare. The landscape on both sides of the road showed little signs of Spring: globe trees with a golden shade of life and the river flowing strong. I know the earth is waking up and the sun is behind those clouds with the promise of warm days. Today’s watercolor is Snow Showers with a ray of hope.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor 03.26.2023

Dear Life, I went to the mall to take a walk indoors but there were so many people, I turned around and came home. Snow and rain came and went all day. I sat at the art table, watching the weather and eventually picked up a pen, a brush, a scissors. I drew, painted and collaged. Came across this quote, “It’s your heart that takes you places.” It’s true for me especially living with cancer. There are many ways to travel no matter the restrictions. I believe in my heart and health and love and breakfast in bed and roses and going with the flow. Thank you snow and rain.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage and Watercolor 03.24.2023

Dear Life, My sister Arlene is visiting my brother Louis in St Petersburg, FL. I spoke with them as they were on their way to the beach to watch the sunset. Sunny and 75′. Enviable weather. I painted this watercolor after our call. This is how I transport myself with art and imagine myself anywhere. Certainly helps to have this “ability” given the recent years of pandemic restrictions and the limitations cancer treatments has imposed on my life. Yet I feel free. A gift of being an artist and sober.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Watercolor 03.22.2023

Dear Life, Several days have seen freezing temps and snow showers. I’ve been enjoying quiet hours of reading, writing, studio time, making warm meals, phone visits and watching TV. Surgery was six weeks ago. Oral cancer meds started six days ago. My body is adjusting and continues to heal. Today under a gray sky I will venture out and be amongst people. I am still careful about crowds so wear a mask and go places at their slower hours. The earth is soaking in all the precipitation. Beneath the surface everything is coming alive. Me too!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Collage 03.22.2023