Dear Life, Many Christmas holidays have been with my family in Connecticut. Delicious meals, festive games, and wild wrapping paper fights after all the gifts were happily unwrapped. This year, the tradition continues in CT at my sister’s house. Arlene’s grandchildren are of the age that Santa is real and sugar is permitted in large doses. Violet, 3, and Max, 5, are totally out of their minds with excitement. My heart and spirit miss them and everyone in the East. A glance back makes me a little homesick and happy with fond memories. For me, no travel due to covid and health restrictions. However, I’m grateful for all the friends, love and celebrations here with my “Santa Fe family”.
Sending love to everyone everywhere.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I am on orders from my therapist to “take a vacation from cancer” during the holiday season with only a must-have Petscan stuck into the schedule on Dec 28th. So in my mind, I’m off on a great adventure while in reality I’m in self-quarantine. I can safely visit with friends and go on a few outings. Anyone know of a 2021 Crosstrek available that can be wrapped in a ribbon? Yes, I’m still on the car search. Looking like Spring before a car rolls into my life. I’ve asked Santa’s Helpers to show me some Love and Miracles At Christmas.
Let’s see what happens!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, A new season marks the beginning of a 90 day cycle of new intentions and planning. This Winter Solstice is of great importance. I’ll be starting the Cancer Immunotherapy and Vaccine Clinical Trail. Promise of Life. My commitment is: I am responsible for the quality of my life. Spirit is responsible for my Life Force. Medical Professionals are responsible for being part of my team that help me heal. I celebrate health, light, love and joy. I learn new coping skills. I express my creative voice daily. I am grateful for sobriety, loving relationships, and the Grace in my Life.
Friends and family are my life boat. Thank You.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I cut this ad out of a magazine in 2020 and kept it on my art table. “Great marketing”, I thought, “especially for a romantic like me”. And a 21 year Subaru Outback owner. Well, now I need a new car and Covid has jacked up prices and backed up delivery on cars. Is anyone who is reading this have connections in the Subaru industry? This girl is looking to seat herself in a Crosstrek in the near future to safely get me to Cancer Clinical Trail treatments and do other fun stuff. Love is out there!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Baby it’s cold outside! I’ve chilled inside since Tuesday, recuperating and resting. Appointments are set for Petscan 12/28, Bloodwork 1/3, and first immunotherapy treatment 1/04. Hello Holidays and New Year. Not the usual Holiday Party schedule. However, it’s a life-saving hope for me. So I’m all in! This morning, a friend is taking me to the Subaru dealership. I’ll be dressed like a Polar Bear so I don’t turn blue. My great 21 year old Subaru has seen better days so I need reliable transportation. The Clinical Trail is two years. New roads ahead. Merry Christmas to me with a big red ribbon!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Packages of gifts are arriving including some from Secret Santas. Holiday cards have been lovingly written and mailed. Writing takes place in the early morning. Seriously good documentaries are being watched in the evening. Game nights with pizza are in the wings. I’m looking to get that new car that can take those road trips but in three week clips due to Clinical Trail schedule. Appointments are being made for Petscan and more tests between Christmas and New Year’s. ho Ho HO. Life is happening within and around me. Tears opened up a river of joy.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, On Tuesday, the consent forms were signed and I was told, “You are #1 patient in Phase Two of Clinical Trail in the world”. Felt celebratory amongst the staff. I’ll begin treatments in the New Year. Left the Cancer Center happy and went to Southwest Cares to receive Covid shot. The celebration turned explosive from the vaccine. My immune-compromised body went into fever, chills, aches and pains for 24 hours. No sleep. By mid-afternoon I was spent and cried and cried. The tears relieved toxins. Advil with Tylenol relieved the pain. Woke today a new girl. Sleepy but good.
It is so true that a day can make a difference!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, At noon today, I meet with Emily, coordinator of Clinical Trail at Cancer Center in Santa Fe, to go over paperwork and sign. At 12:30, I meet Dr Herbert, my new oncologist to discuss everything. I will walk into every room with every professional trusting we are working for the same purpose and as a team. Feeling nervous but hopeful. Something new. I promise to be vertical and to get out of my pj’s by noon! Signing off from the comfort of my cozy, warm bed. Love you all. Thanks for the support.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I came across this word last week during all the ups and downs of my medical journey. YUGEN: the profound mysterious sense of the beauty of the Universe and also the beauty of human suffering. Confronted with real suffering (horrible storms due to climate change, cancers due to chemical change, mental illness due to psychic/spiritual change, loss of lives due to Pandemic, Alcoholism, Addiction; the list goes on) I see most humans digging deeper into their hearts, coming up with empathy, compassion, and helping others. I remind myself each morning upon waking, the Human Heart is a beautiful thing, no matter what the conditions. Love and Service Heals.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose