Dear Life, When I was 21 years old and in art school, a sculpture professor told me “You have one of the most 2-dimensional minds I’ve ever met”. I wasn’t much interested in banging on marble or carving wood. My response to his feedback was my final sculpture project: I photographed myself in a white cube creating a 3-dimensional form in space then presented a slide show and photo exhibit. I had been failing the course but he passed me. “Unique”. Recently, my cancer therapist described me as “encapsulated”; not fragmented; in sync with my-Self. In the past and now, I have held my-Self together within an encapsulated spiritual space. I feel safe and protected here. I believe it’s called Grace.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, My Being lines up holistically while I make art. My hand moves through magazines while my mind catches the images and words that my Spirit wants to message. I am always led to the perfect destination when I trust this process. As in art, so it is in life. My body has been seeking a cancer treatment that lines up with my Heart and Spirit. I am grateful to be aware and conscious of a Higher Power working in and around me, bringing together people, places, and things that line up with my desire to heal and experience quality of life. This matters. The matters of the Heart. Love and Life. We all matter.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Shaking my head, I left Denver oncology doctor having heard chemo is no longer a frontline defense against the cancer I have > another cell replacement therapy was offered. I said, “I can’t do another treatment with that level of toxicity”. Made my way to have blood drawn and port flushed then met with Dr Snyder, my Santa Fe oncologist. A miracle was offered: Christus Cancer Center is one of five sites in the world doing a clinical trail with 150 participants that I am eligible and able to do. It is an immunotherapy/vaccine treatment plan. There is hope after hearing a dire prognosis. Plus, I feel my participation serves a greater purpose in finding cures for cancer.
There is light and love and hope in my life.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Today, I know all Angels are with me as we give and receive information about diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment options.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Tomorrow I have back-to-back appointments with my oncologists (Denver and Santa FE) to discuss prognosis, options for treatment, and quality of life issues. My health advocate is coming with me. When I called her with the schedule (10:00-1:00), she said, “We’re on. Love you to death, sweetheart.” I quickly responded, “Love me to life!” And she graciously replied, “I love the reframe.” Angels are working overtime to line up appointments and are always with me.
Thank you, one and all, for helping me through this topsy-turvy time.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I grabbed a free Reporter (local newspaper) and read this week’s horoscope for Gemini; it concluded with this:
“An optimistic mindset finds dozen of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable.”
I have been known to be an optimist, an idealist, an enthusiast, and a romantic. I made this collage depicting the optimist and the pessimist having a squawk. Both are in my head right now. I added the words Kind, Slow Down and the clipping of the horoscope.
Geminis like to look at all sides of things in our own mercurial way. I’m grateful the optimist comes out ahead.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose the Gemini Optimist

Dear Life, I want to get a new car with a great sound system, subscribe to an audio book service then drive all over the country while listening to the books recommended by my cancer therapist. Titles run like this: “How To Die”, One Year to Live”, “On Grief and Grieving”. I feel like running. Flight or Fight. My adrenaline won’t let me sit in the house quietly reading books on dying.
These are my candid thoughts this morning. And like the weather, my thoughts change hourly! But don’t be surprised if you hear from me via the road!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Love Letter to Life 12.03.2021 Sewing Is A Skill
Dear Life, I bought socks and while cutting a plastic tag, put a hole in the bottom of one sock. Damn. A friend recommended, “Darn the sock”. Old school. Darn. So at 9pm, I was in bed darning the sock. It was satisfying to repair the damage I had done. While sewing, I placed my hope inside of the threads where my feet will walk upon them.
Here is one of my Word Poems inspired by the movie, “Phantom Thread” and apropos to the evening’s sewing event.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Inside the hem
Of this heart
Is a solitude
Greater than
Any outer
Circumstance

Dear Life, Results are in from biopsies: Large Cell Lymphoma cancer is back. Treatment options being discussed with medical team in Santa Fe and Denver. Wish it were better news. My response to Dr Snyder was honest: “How can I feel this good and look this good AND have all this cancer going on inside of me?” It’s a mystery. I feel numb. I remind myself to keep breathing because my best day is today. Live and Love.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose