Dear Life, The hidden life of cancer began in me as early as 2018. I was hospitalized for 10 days after Thanksgiving 2018. Twelve biopsies were performed all coming back negative. But the lymphoma hid out behind my healthy cells until it rushed my body and was diagnosed in January 2020. During this time, I was painting black and white paintings then placing foliage and flowers on the surface to photograph. Also collaged and made drawings with many centers of active energy. A deep creative intuition. This past week, I’ve looked at the art I created 2018 thru 2021. The creative spirit always depicts my inner self and how it’s being dealt with it outwardly.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Fear could take over my mind if I give it the ear time. Let’s face it, fatal diseases throw fear into the mix. Yet, each day, I wake up, breathe, feel my lungs and heart open, and hear birds singing, cathedral bells chiming, and feel my chest. My heart is beating. This is the channel I am listening to: LIFE. And when the static of fear tries to change the station and close my heart, I remember: The secret of love is in opening your heart… and living.
It’s a good day to be alive.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I live in a house with very different views than the loft. But new sightings are happening. Surprises. I went into the dark kitchen to tidy up before bed and, in the dark, I saw a reflection on the white marble counter. It was coming through a small opening of the window shade. I opened the shade, and there was the Full Moon saying, “Hello Pamela, here I am”, letting me know, I can see the moon from here.

Moon light also reminds me, I AM NEVER ALONE. I went to bed and wrote a Word Poem inspired by the event: White On White
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I had an ambitious spiritual reading earlier: ZEST, affirming “an extraordinary day… grab each moment with gusto… squeeze every drop of pleasure out of each moment…” My Spirit was on board however my sleepy head and waking body reached for another sip of coffee. Okay. Recalibrate. I will move into this day aware there is a potent partial eclipse Full Moon and everything is up for grabs. I chose this beautiful collage and these words: WHOLE BODY WELLNESS…. ABLE, along with ALIVE AND THRIVE to affirm today and into the next season, Winter. Thank you, Judy Tuwaletstiwa for glass alchemy shards in the image. I am now feeling a little zestier.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I left Dr. Snyder uplifted, expressing my gratitude for his support and wishing him a Happy Thanksgiving. We will reconvene on 12.1.2021 to take a look at more blood tests and the biopsy report. He suggested, “Don’t jump to any conclusions. Your blood work is better each week and you feel well”. I’ll follow his lead and go into this holiday season grateful for my life, sobriety, loved ones, and hot water in my new apartment!
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, I am on the receiving end of many prayers and positive thoughts. This fills me with love and strength. Thank you. I also send out love and light to my dear ones, near and far. We are family. We bring our hearts to one another. Today, chemo port flush, blood tests and oncologist appointment. I am grateful to be alive to love and to be loved.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

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Dear Life, Unfortunately, the Petscan was not clear. There were some little lights so a biopsy is scheduled next week. Living with faith requires acting in faith: being kind to the plumber who is here trying to fix the “no hot water since Friday” problem; having phone calls with family and friends; cleaning the bathroom; making a collage. My head and emotions have yet to fully wrap around the news. More information is needed. My body is staying in motion. Thankfully, it feels okay. I’m praying and reaching out for your support.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Dear Life, Waiting requires patience. I hope to receive results from Petscan today. A drive through northern New Mexico always helps me. The land is amazing. Gives me the sense of freedom and hope. This photo is from yesterday’s road trip. Today is my yearly physical exam. Yes, I still have to do all the regular, routine health stuff no matter how many doctors I see for cancer-related issues. My team is expansive like the terra firma. Gratitude to all.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose

Ojo Caliente 11.14.2021

Dear Life, A flower-full relationship: Solitude + Patience = Creativity, bloomed out of Cancer and Covid quarantine that still remains in place for me. I hung one of my framed Symphonic Poem paintings in the studio and while looking at it, placed this paper flower in the center. I have not had live flowers in my house for months due to immune system. So this flower has been nature’s representative. I very much like the arrangement. Dr. Tee’s told me on Wednesday, I can have live flowers and plants plus eat raw vegetables. A step for Pam-kind. Progress.
Yours Truly, Pamela Rose