Dear Life, Authentic, Gutsy, Kind, Generous, and Humble, all living under the same roof? Yes. The critic, Yackity, says, “NO!” He is the big voice of NO, blocking new ideas and creative flow, interrupting friendships and generally causing chaos and disharmony. I recognize his disruption as not healthy. How to deal with it? Lead him out of the room (of my brain) before he’s made a mess in the house. When he gets out in front of me, be responsible for cleaning up what he’s left behind. Live life fully, write, paint, draw, collage. Always have a broom handy. I keep one at my front door. I’ve become an expert in sweeping! Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, Yackity made his entrance into my consciousness early in life. A devil, a monster, a trickster, a horrible critic, a downer, a joy-killer. The list of negative attributes I assign to his voice goes on. However, I learned to identify and “play” with Yackity. If I’m in a rush, I thank him “for sharing” and move on with my thoughts, work, and life without focusing on his negative input. Yackity can throw a wrench into the works if I let him. I’ve learned over the years through trail and tribulation, to recognize Yackity’s appearance by his negative, critical voice. More about our cooperative relationship with Yackity tomorrow. Name it (the critic) and claim it! Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, When blood counts go low or a health/emotional challenge is present, self-care goes into high-gear. Every expenditure of energy, time, and resources comes into a necessary examination. Simple and intuitive. This method is employed most of the time in my life. I ask: Is this activity or person giving me energy or draining? Am i feeling uplifted, pulled down, or neutral? Can I afford this giving of my time, energy or resources? Is this experience/activity/giving best for everyone? It’s an assessment that can be made fairly quickly. If it feels complicated or chaotic, that’s part of how I know the answer: KEEP IT SIMPLE. Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, Since the onset of health issues in Nov 2018, I’ve had low blood counts, sometimes critical. I have my own “normal” and it’s a lot lower than most folks. Yesterday, I requested bloodwork due to a lack of energy, light-headedness, and my body bruising easily. Blood counts and platelets are lower than my normal but not critical. I was relieved. This is familiar territory. The triage nurse and I had a laugh when I told her, “This girl does not like to nap or go to bed early, hurls her body around in space like a teenager, and forgets her age at all times!” I am slowing down, being very conscientious of where/what my body is doing, and sitting down when it says, “Please take a break.” My mind is on board with the new directives and my Spirit is smiling because I am willing to cooperate. Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, For years upon waking, I would hit the coffee machine button then blindly pick up my weights, stand in front of the large loft window looking out over the southern range of mountains and begin a 20 minute workout. I did it half-asleep every day and it worked to keep my body fit and toned. In 2020, cancer and treatments interrupted this routine. Since then, I have found it challenging, if not impossible, to engage my body in daily exercise as I once did. And therein lies the issue… As I Once Did. Everything changed with cancer. My body is completely different. Stem Cell Replacement changed every cell. There is no former “body” to rely on. I now have a new body and, in many ways, a better one, more aware of its needs and leaner. This new body is getting stronger. Now I need to build endurance. The battle with cancer requires it. I can see the weights from my comfy beloved bed. I need only take 6 steps and pick them up. Let’s see what happens when I take a giant step for Pamela Rose’s new body! Yours Truly, The Athlete Pamela Rose
Dear Life, Summer Solstice began at 3:12am MST. In Santa Fe, the sun is hiding behind clouds holding the promise of rain. This is the first Solstice gift: Monsoon Season. My “promises” for the upcoming Summer season: Feel my way into each day with intuition guiding me. My GPS: God’s Positioning System. Give myself excellent self-care, quality and loving relationships, creative and adventurous living at home, in the studio, in the community and in all my travels. Be in the present moment and enjoy the amazing life I have been graced with today. I’m happily on my way to the Farmer’s Market. Summer Bounty. Happy Solstice to everyone. What are your promises to your self this season? Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned on my years on the planet, came shortly after a divorce in 2009. I attended a weekend retreat going through the 12 Steps led by a Native American leader in our community. His wisdom and advice on forgiveness, change, and stories was this:
“We can forgive and change by putting our stories on the “altar” and letting the Higher Power rewrite them. We, in and of ourselves, are incapable of that rewrite”.
I have found this to be profoundly true. Each morning, I put all “my stories” on the altar of life for the rewrite by the Higher Power. It works if I let it and life is so much more interesting and easier. Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Dear Life, Each day, besides journaling in the morning and at night, I write two, timed 30-minute sessions, unedited, usually mid-afternoon. The first session is longhand with ink pen in a notebook. I consider this a primer, saying to my brain, “Okay, it’s time to empty whatever is noodling around in you so we can down to the real work of writing”. The second session is tapping the keys of the computer. This writing is for a book I am collaborating on with my sister, Arlene Lawrence. Recently, I wrote this piece on Memory. Here it is:Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
6.17.2022 Start 5:35pm Finish 5:58pm
Memory is selective, has its own time zones, its own emotional containers for content, its own veils of context, its own casting of characters, its own suggestions of story lines.
Memory is its own galaxy of black holes where all memory disappears, its own constellations of story plots, its own white light blinding truth and non-truths, its own orbiting planets, moons, and suns that create a universe and multiple universes, real or not real.
Memory is its own reality creating other realities that spark yet another reality that can be completely contrary to the reality it just certified because memory is subjective, personal, private, and one can even say, imaginary.
Memory is its own servant reliant upon being directed, its own compulsive task-master, its own obsessive omnipresent power, its own energy source and stream of consciousness.
Dear Life, Waking to the sound of rain is sacred in the High Desert. Drought and fires have plagued beautiful New Mexico. We are entering into a week of monsoons that will hopefully dampen the fires and enliven the Earth with its living creatures. The temperature has decreased with the precipitation cooling off everything. There’s an immediate response to this “natural watering”. Gardens, the mountainsides, plains flourish. I’ll take a walk and take in the wonders of Earth and its resiliency. JOY. Yours Truly, Pamela Rose
Pamela Rose Markoya 